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Because he for some reason put an autistic amount of pride in being 1/4th Italian and the sauce gives him an excuse to avoid playing games...

This is what happens when you roll the maturity of a 14 year old, sense of humour of a 12 year old, and IQ of a 10 year old into a 57 year old...

Because Phillip’s life revolves around four things: Himself Money Food Himself

It gives him a excuse to pretend that he is special, unlike millions of other americans of italian descent, and time to go read walkthroughs and...

Fuck why do I know this...He usually did this on Sundays so it would be called "Saucy Sunday." Still lame but at least there was some...