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Them bedroom eyes.

Lookin' sharp! Maybe Slingblade will even let him back in the bedroom for some #AnalRips with this snazzy makeover. :tomgirl: But damn, he has...

Don't worry Phil. I don't think even the most depraved, desperate rapist that Portland had to offer would go anywhere near you. The bolt cutters...

International sign for "run the fuck away" right there.

What's with the masking tape?

So Chris outdid Brianna Wu, now Spudders is trying to outdo Chris? Come on Maris Piper, you'd have to mash yourself to beat Chris yelling at us!

For all his complaints of penury, he’s fat. He’d make a tasty meal for peasants during the Great Leap Forward.

Holy shit, compared to Phil Chris looks like friggin' Aphrodite!