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The irony is that when he gets a prostitute, he actually makes a conscious effort to jump through hoops. The whole cheap suit, flowers...

Yeah! I mean, he still wouldn't be able to get a girlfriend. But he could have made a great living as a circus side show freak.

But back then he would have had to get permission from her father, and what man would look at that thing and say "Yep, that's what would be best...