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YOU'RE SHITTING YOURSELF. POOP IS COMING OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE!

The actual names are "Burger King" and "Humpty Hump".

I worked at a restaurant where a couple broke a sink this way. People aren't as light as they think

surprised a guy like this is into women... yeah we get it you're some fancy cunt also how do you 'toy with the edges' of someone's underwear...

First paragraph and I'm already laughing. Well done, Elisabeth* (name changed). That said, you are fat and need to drop the pounds. Then the...

Yeah, no thanks. Any sex that involves urinals and getting banged without orgasming is a no from me.

Another fat lady eating her way past a broken heart I see

Michelin starred menus do not make me horny. Clearly I’m deficient somehow. This would also not make me horny.