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I came in here to make some retard shitpost like "ha ha I'm going to just pretend they're taking about the monster truck" until I read this line...

...am I the only one that doesn't see "woven", and instead sees what looks like the dead parts of a VERY thick blackberry thicket that has had its...

That job cannot pay well bro. The fuck do you do all day?

Come on, man, thats a guy in a gorilla suit. You gotta do better than that!

Silly Jeff! Everyone knows that sasquatches are an abandoned slave race/failed human prototype created by the Anunnaki that fled their creators...