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He can barely flex his knees. He's destroying his joints by being very, very fat. Dan 'The Man' Mullen coming in hot with the Christmas carnage!

I don't believe either of them would think The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion is worth reading.

"....except for The Handmaid's Tale, shit sucked. Suck my dick, Atwood." -Also Isaac Asimov, probably