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Megaton Punch

I went to bed every night wishing I woke up with cancer

The most direct equivalent for boys would probably be infinity boners all the time for no reason. It's especially fun when it's your turn to read...
Spiny Rumples

I went to bed every night wishing I woke up with cancer

I don't think it's as extreme for guys, and tends to vary. Cute boys go from "women and children" protected class to "men" and if they weren't...
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