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Bonus advice: 7. Get rid of all your mlp merch. I know you have it 8. WASH 👏🏻 YOUR 👏🏻 FACE 👏🏻 9. Eat a balanced diet with lots of protein and...

My first instinct was "bro don't do that to them", but then I remember he's an aspiring horsefucker and deserves the Giants. Carry on.

This thread somehow got exponentially darker and grimier than it already was in a matter or hours, but your plan for Tim is the lone ray of hope...