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Patrick was so offensively fat the fellow burst into hysterical laughter so hard that his leg simply fell off. Which is still more likely than...

How it happened doesn't matter all you need to know is that Patrick never lies, child.

He didn't say it was in a swimming pool, that would be crazy. It was a "waterpark". (I can believe he did CPR as a lifeguard, since he's talked...

Corn Pop showed up and everything went sideways. Of all the Tomlinson Tall Tales of Two-Fisted Manliness, this one was his most ridiculous...