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This has serious "freshly birthed, mucus-coated baby elephant struggling to stand on wobbly legs" vibes.

The kind of intro song I would expect from a religious "man" who would wear a backwards ballcap indoors.

If Hell exists, I imagine this would be blaring over the loudspeakers 24/7.

UPDATE: Haha, YES!!! I've finally found it!! Took me the better part of a day, going through the thread from the point where Jack first debuted...