So what's going on?:
- I'm being evicted/forced to move due to all the money and mental health issues that have accumulated over the last 3+ years
- I can no longer consistently afford mental health care (therapists, psychiatrists, medication, etc) so I'm currently not on any medications and basically go broke any time I talk to my therapist
- In the last 8 months I have had 2 psychotic breakdowns and 2 trips to 2 different psych wards, with the 2nd event being the absolute worst thing for my mental health in basically forever.
- Over the last 2 months I have been trying to apply for "Real" jobs and its been god awful. My car broke down 2 days ago, after I had decided to try doing delivery jobs. So, yeah, I guess I prefer streaming + doing videos for a reason
- I realized in 2020 that I'm non-binary and pansexual
This isn't a big big deal to me, nor do I think it should be a big deal to anyone else? But yeah, we're in the era where it matters to be honest about our private orientations. So all the various people who deny these things exist and might watch this video? This...is a good jumping off point to NOT comment. Save it for another day.
- I realized I was bisexual and might be pansexual in the summer of 2019, for anyone who might think the above paragraph is permission to deny my sexual orientation. For those who are awesome and supportive (or just don't care and are supportive), thank you. I didn't want to tell you all anything I wasn't sure of, which, I think is pretty consistent with who I have been on YouTube lol
- I'll be doing way more streams, videos and side-jobs (even beyond this situation). I do not know how these things are going to take place, because at this point I do not even know what mental state my mind will be in every single day. But yeah. Still fully intend to do as much as I can, but I am wary about my terrible mental health and I've been inactive as I've been trying not to keep having meltdowns.
- Why didn't you post in February if its such a big deal?
Well, I live in Austin, Texas and we got hit with a massive ice storm. Also, YouTube pays NET45 which means it pays 45 days after a month ends. That means any YT money I would have made/made in February...won't show up until April 15. So its nothing against y'all, but my priorities have been trying to find a faster source of income before my landlord got to the point of threatening eviction. Mission failed on that last regard, but, oh well.
- Don't you have roommates to pay rent?
Nope. As of February, I do not have roommates. So I have to come up with rent money for February and March on my own.
- Why didn't you pay off February's rent?
I did. But the bank got shut down due to the ice storm and by the time it was back up, other bills took money from my account and my check bounced.
- What will happen if you get $0?
Life will continue on. I'm only asking for money because that's what needed to help me, my girlfriend, and my pets get out of a sucky scenario. I'm still going to be doing as much as I can to find relief through other real world options (loans, debt relief, doing delivery/side jobs). The sooner I can have a place that I know I can be stable in + afford mental health care (which I need more than ever), the sooner I can go back to consistently making fun content for YouTube and Twitch.
- How did this even happen?
Just...bad timing and a lot of naive mistakes. I was 23 with no credit score when I rented this house. And when I rented this house, I was making a lot more from YouTube...and then YouTube implented changes (2016/2017) that literally cut my income in half. Then the whole process of moving and everything afterwards continued to tank my mental health...which, a person kind of needs good mental health to function properly. Yeah.. But I'll be alright
There's way more to talk about that's happened over the last few years, and what's happened across my 27 years of life. But I can't fit all of that here...so maybe another time.