DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[PieceofShet]

Out of all those games, i hope he doesn't end playing Paper Mario or Hollow Knight. Those games are too good for him and he would fuck it up constantly with his "Commentary" and his exceptionalism.
On the other hand, i hope he either picks up the Surge (From the devs of Lords of the Fallen, game that made him ragequit) or Metroid Prime 2 (the first one got him to rage a lot, even if he played on easy).
Also, didn't he played Oblivion before? He didn't finished or what?

He played Oblivion, i made a tihydp on it. He was pretty bad, he played it on pc.
He put armor on his horse which broke it and the horse couldnt turn made it unusable.
There is a great scene where he gets overweight and he dropped out a lot of light but valuable items.
He also played almost the full time without sound cause his headphone fucked him.
He also never learned how to lockpick.

DSP is the Master of Unlocking (Supercut)

Uh no.... This is How You DON'T Play Oblivion: https://youtu.be/674OFXP1cNE

youtu.be

He played like 10 hours, leveled like 4 times, game kicked his ass in the last hour and never returned.

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

He played Oblivion, i made a tihydp on it. He was pretty bad, he played it on pc.
He put armor on his horse which broke it and the horse couldnt turn made it unusable.
There is a great scene where he gets overweight and he dropped out a lot of light but valuable items.
He also played almost the full time without sound cause his headphone fucked him.
He also never learned how to lockpick.

DSP is the Master of Unlocking (Supercut)

Uh no.... This is How You DON'T Play Oblivion: https://youtu.be/674OFXP1cNE

youtu.be

He played like 10 hours, leveled like 4 times, game kicked his ass in the last hour and never returned.

Yeah, i saw it and loved it. Bugs that made him constantly bitch about the game, how he almost got killed in the first oblivion gate, how he fucked up quests like an idiot, the turnless horse... I wish he kept playing and did some more sidequests like the one for Clavicus Vile (He wouldn't be able to kill Umbra and we know it) the Ayleid artifacts or accidentally became a vampire and had to do the vampirism cure sidequest.
It kinda makes me wish he played Morrowind and got stumped with the first mandatory quest to find the Dwemer puzzle cube that nearly every single Morrowind player overlooks. He wouldn't be able to find it for shit.

Also, totes for the Nioh vid. We needed a proper TIHYDP of it and i would have done it if my PC wouldn't have a stroke every time i try to render a vid.

 

[Pargon]

So many games to ruin.
Wyświetl załącznik 824325

What in the fuck is with his retarded fanbase and wanting to see him play long-winded RPGs? Half of this list would be boring as fuck if it got voted in, and by that I mean more dull than your average DSP playthrough by a matter of several degrees of magnitude. KOTOR? These knuckle-draggers really want to see Phil make sequel trilogy jokes for 35-40 hours as he struggles to maintain relevancy? Divinity, a pseudo-traditional top-down CRPG? Thrillsville. Click. Click. Click-click. Very few people can make that exciting and Phil's not one of them. Xenoblade Chronicles fucking Two? That's not even a good game, it's annoying as fuck to watch and to play, and you know he's just going to make ME LIKE BIG BOUNCY TIDDIES comments the entire time. Trails of Cold Steel? Yeah, enjoy Phil literally never being able to complete a battle in that game without handholding.

I love RPGs but so few of them make for decent streaming material and that's assuming you're entertaining enough as a streamer to make the experience enjoyable. This list is more autistic than the list of Democratic presidential candidates.

 

[Regulas]

I just searched Zimbabwe in google and this is the first news coming up from this current month:


Wyświetl załącznik 823078Wyświetl załącznik 823077



Hmmm............I wonder why Phil is attracted to this country.........


Wyświetl załącznik 823079

I touched it up a little

Pigroach variant (using stock vector art)

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Sorry for double post, but it's totally different.

Phil just claimed that he's never said he wins all chargeback disputes. Could I humbly request someone find and post a clip of him saying exactly that? Bonus good boy points and tendies if you find the multiple instances he's said it.

Phil: I never said I've won all chargebacks.

Kiwis: Yes you did. Here is video proof.

Phil: No I didn't. Another slanderous lie debunked.

 

[Mike Hunt]

Who the fuck is Jimmy and how the fuck does DSP keep getting people to donate $100+ to him?

I'm very sorry but it's not surprising they work minimum wage jobs. Throwing hundreds of dollars at someone who earns a lot more than you, while working a much easier job than you, in and of itself kind of shows a HUGE lack of judgement, and a tremendous inability to handle money, educate yourself on a topic before making an important choice and evaluate/process/use the available information to justify your decision. I honestly wouldn't trust a person like that with anything other than a minimum wage job, aka "do exactly as you're told and nothing else, and repeat it ad infinitum".

Any streamer can get omegas to pony up cash as long as the streamer has a following (doesn't matter if legit fans or trolls) and they get acknowledged on stream. A lot of these randos are people desperate for attention from a perceived well-known person. Real celebrities are hard to get attention from, just ask "Hotlips" Greer. Streamers are more accessible, and these randos get metaphorically sucked by streamers who read out the message attached to the money and blasted on-screen to hundreds of viewers, giving them their cheap thrills for the day (maybe for months if said randos are really lonely). Sometimes they'd even get to preen in chat because lookit that "big spender". That's a lot of attention and validation their daily lives (more so for those working dead-end jobs) couldn't provide for them, and all for the price of a couple of dollars.

This is even true for troll cheers. Still the same concept of wanting attention from both DSP and papa Tevin and his chat or whatever.

As long as DSP's viewership remains healthy, the tips will keep rolling in. He even has more viewers than some pro e-sports players who stream from time to time.

These stats will always shock me, $100/hr isn't enough. I don't know anyone who wouldn't love that money and have a shit load left to spare with his income. It's just proof that even if/when he gets the money it just disappears. Doesn't matter if he's in debt or not, he has no respect at all for money.

If you've never faced real financial hardship in your life and was coddled by your family, it's hard to develop that respect for money. DSP has spergs willing to throw hundreds at him most days for his shit gaming, why would he ever develop the skills to properly manage his money? If he ever has debt, it's just something he thinks his fans would cover for whenever he cries poverty, so no need to cut back on spending or ask Kat to not ask for so much stuff.

 

[Regulas]

Short clip from El Crimson King's Darksyde Puppet video for future funposting

 

[EcksDeeNiceTry]

So many games to ruin.
Wyświetl załącznik 824325

Divinity: Original Sin... good one. That's probably a troll one. The game is incredibly long, but incredibly fun when you have friends you can laugh with. In that case, it's the best game ever because there is just so much content AND so much free choice. Who the hell is Phil gonna play with that can actually ENTERTAIN viewers exactly?

Because Phil himself will ruin the fucking game. For example, as some of you might know, there are instances where if you act like a scumbag, you actually explode. It's funny when you can laugh it off. Phil however: "That's bullshit dood, now I gotta reload. I'm sorry but that's fucking stoopid. I didn't do anything, and the game just kills me. That's not fun. The devs are morons for putting that into the game, I'm sorry but just being honest here. Fucking idiots."

If Phil plays it on his own, the viewers will complain about the game because the combat isn't flashy or anything like that, so the little kids will cry as they always do when phil plays a non-flashy no bling-bling game. If Phil DOES play with people, it will still be boring as hell because it will just be braindead conversations and penis-jokes.

 

[Salubrious]

DSP's actual favorite game of 2018 (Detroit: Become Human) is free on PS Plus for July.

 

[Collections Agent]

Phil: I never said I've won all chargebacks.

Kiwis: Yes you did. Here is video proof.

Phil: *lean in bans* Some fucking troll detractor in chat im not even going to read what they have to say.

FTFY

 

[actually]

Another "I WIN ALL CHARGEBACKS" example, courtesy of proxy_kon on Twitter:

Timestamp should be 48:16.

 

[Pargon]

DSP's actual favorite game of 2018 (Detroit: Become Human) is free on PS Plus for July.

David Cage and DSP are an actual match made in heaven and if I won the lottery I would absolutely fund a collaboration between the two, 100% of the way.

Both are raging spergs with extremely misinformed and nevertheless concrete opinions on how things in their respective fields ought to be done. Both failed upward at a prodigious rate (and both at similar times and similar trajectories), and both continue to be supported financially to a ludicrous degree, likely by one group that is bound and determined to see them succeed and a completely separate group that is almost assuredly perpetrating a huge joke on American culture by keeping them afloat. Both rest their shortcomings on the shoulders of others ("'game over' is a failure of the game designer", anyone?). Both are completely unabashed and unapologetic in their views, however wrong they may be.

A Cage/Burnell joint would be history's greatest Trainwreck and I want to see it happen.

 

[EcksDeeNiceTry]

David Cage and DSP are an actual match made in heaven and if I won the lottery I would absolutely fund a collaboration between the two, 100% of the way.

Both are raging spergs with extremely misinformed and nevertheless concrete opinions on how things in their respective fields ought to be done. Both failed upward at a prodigious rate (and both at similar times and similar trajectories), and both continue to be supported financially to a ludicrous degree, likely by one group that is bound and determined to see them succeed and a completely separate group that is almost assuredly perpetrating a huge joke on American culture by keeping them afloat. Both rest their shortcomings on the shoulders of others ("'game over' is a failure of the game designer", anyone?). Both are completely unabashed and unapologetic in their views, however wrong they may be.

A Cage/Burnell joint would be history's greatest Trainwreck and I want to see it happen.

And don't forget about the fact they both made their workplace/environment a complete toxic cesspool.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

So many games to ruin.
Wyświetl załącznik 824325

Half of those are RPGs.

Do people really want to watch Phil attempt to fill dead air occasionally with shit jokes while he does his amazing "voice acting"? I don't know about Xenoblade Chronicles 2, but at least Paper Mario writes the jokes for him. His "fans" at this point are just either exceptional or just the whole thing is rigged for failure from the start with these choice of games.

 

[kebab4you]

Divinity: Original Sin... good one. That's probably a troll one. The game is incredibly long, but incredibly fun when you have friends you can laugh with. In that case, it's the best game ever because there is just so much content AND so much free choice. Who the hell is Phil gonna play with that can actually ENTERTAIN viewers exactly?

Because Phil himself will ruin the fucking game. For example, as some of you might know, there are instances where if you act like a scumbag, you actually explode. It's funny when you can laugh it off. Phil however: "That's bullshit dood, now I gotta reload. I'm sorry but that's fucking stoopid. I didn't do anything, and the game just kills me. That's not fun. The devs are morons for putting that into the game, I'm sorry but just being honest here. Fucking idiots."

If Phil plays it on his own, the viewers will complain about the game because the combat isn't flashy or anything like that, so the little kids will cry as they always do when phil plays a non-flashy no bling-bling game. If Phil DOES play with people, it will still be boring as hell because it will just be braindead conversations and penis-jokes.

Phil being Phil would also be dumb enough to try it on tactician mode instead of baby - story - mode. Would make it all the more better!

 

[Malagor the dank omen]

Half of those are RPGs.

Do people really want to watch Phil attempt to fill dead air occasionally with shit jokes while he does his amazing "voice acting"? I don't know about Xenoblade Chronicles 2, but at least Paper Mario writes the jokes for him. His "fans" at this point are just either exceptional or just the whole thing is rigged for failure from the start with these choice of games.

I just hope Metroid Prime 2 wins and he is forced to play on hard on the remake (normal for the Gamecube). He raged a lot with Metroid Prime 1 where he played very passively and he barely adapted his strategies to the enemies he faced. In Prime 2 i know he wouldn't be able to defeat the final boss because not only you need to change beams but you also have a time limit. He would pull a Persona 3 on Dark Samus.

 

[Martys_not_smarty]

Someone should have put Steel Division 2 on that list for the heck of it, love to see him flounder about the grasp of the games deckbuilding.

 

[Forbidden Math]

So many games to ruin.
Wyświetl załącznik 824325

I really hope Paper Mario loses. Not because it's a bad game (It's actually great), and not because I don't want Phil to ruin it, but because he'll probably like the game. I mean it's got wrestling dood.

 

[BScCollateral]

I'll say it again: I want him to play Kerbal Space Program so the chat can try to explain orbital dynamics to him.

Try and fail.

 

[Pargon]

I'll say it again: I want him to play Kerbal Space Program so the chat can try to explain orbital dynamics to him.

Try and fail.

It's vaguely related to space and Phil is a consumer of only the stalest memes so all we'd get is "haha hey guys remember John Madden? John Madden John Madden John Madden football ack ack snort whatever, fuck this game".