🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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Ask.fm is full of drama today.
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Her ask.fm cycle is so funny. She always starts answering and posting only the positive and ass patting questions. And then she starts answering the hayders while getting increasingly frustrated with each one and eventually decides she doesn’t “need this negativity in her life”. She then closes it down until the next time she’s bored in a parking lot or pillow mountain and needing attention.
 
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Amber is the delusional type of fatty who thinks losing as little as .6lb is a real and true fat loss, but a gain of 5-10lb is just being swollen.
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Or that her weight gain is the result of daily walking, so maybe exercise just doesn't have a place in her weightloss journey...

A fun throwback to break up the monotone-y of late:
This gem dates back to the Krystle Era and is worth watching in fool.

Hambert does not disappoint in her arrogance. She's till pretending she's a timid, quirky everygorl, hyperpositive in the face of life's dark circumstance. She's successfully gamed herself into the dependence of a well off family by preying on the affections of their *cognitively differently abled* adult daughter. Her sole interest is obsessing about herself, planning, hauling, and recapping every interaction with food, and documenting her ineffective weightloss journee to a YouTube audience with only a fraction of the haydurs she enjoys today (at times posting three times in a day). She's clearly getting high on her own supply of bullshit. Compared to present day, she was the pitcher of health: maintaining a weight of 350-375, no necrotic laigs or pooled muscles, with the capacity to stand for 15 minutes and walk through a big box store (though she still rode the scooters because she's a lazy POS).

Still certain that her ~89 elbee weightloss~ was a combination of her nutritional and fitness expertise, moderate habits of a dainty queen, and overall character superiority, she comes to the convenient and performatively tragic conclusion that daily walkeen may be causing her to gain weight (one goddamn lb) and it isn't right "FOR ME", even wistfully sighing that she'll miss it so. She admits to overeedeen while she takes us on this wild ride of logical fallacy, but she knows better. She looked it up on Google. She's done her research. Oh the days when she was an expert in bolth nutrition AND exercise sports science.

There is also a telling look into her pathologically codependent tendencies. At the time she had a passive weightloss partner in Krystle where Hammy controlled all food intake and calorie counted for the both of them, making sure they eat the exact same amount (...except her secret overeedeen). Krystle losing more than her on any given weigh in causes visible panic, envy, and an affront to her sense of justice, but it'ssoamazeenshe'ssohappyforherguize.

In a different vid of this era, she uses her extensive exercise sports science knowledge to explain that Krystle lost more weight than her because her heart beats faster, therefore burns more calories. She's done her research. In another vid she has a crisis about wanting to lower Krystle's calories (even though she lost weight at the last weigh in) because they eat the exact same amount, but ALR should be getting more because she's 'birgger' so SHE GETS MORE.

It's a good thing that girl was protected by an ever present family and her firm placement on the spectrum because AL was latched on deep. She thought she found her forever home, ready to leech off them as a perpetual tween, who's only hobbies were obsessing about herself to her outstretched hand, poking and prodding everyone's food, spending their money on junk jewry and phone cases, and fattening up "her" pets.

And remember, if you aren't smiling, smile!!
 
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Yeah, she should really be proud of herself for overcoming that critical disadvantage of having someone feed, house, and clothe her like a child until she was well into her twenties -- and then destroying her health and making herself a living joke just to give her channel that final push into being a viable alternative to getting an actual job. Dreams do come true, people. You just have to believe!*

*And be willing to sacrifice your conscience in order to use and abuse everyone unfortunate enough to cross your path.
 
Okay gorls, it's been a while but I have once again improved a W. B. Yeats poem by altering it slightly to be about someone we all know and love. Works much better if you know the original poem!

The Song of Wandering Amber

I went out with my "hazel" eyes,
Because a fire was in my head,
And totally fit in the car's front seat,
And did NOT read a haydur thread;
And when I'd done eyeliner wings,
And chosen where to get take-out,
I got on YouNow for a stream
And got to Walmart then peaced out.

When I was scooting 'cross the floor
I went to buy a new board game,
But something rustled on the floor,
And someone called me by my name:
It had become a fat blond dyke
With orange chicken in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
To Dana through the brighteneen air.

Though I am old with waddling
Through hollow and hillbilly lands,
I will find out where Dusty's gone,
And do clit stuff with just my hands;
And scoot among the Walmart aisles,
And see til time and times are done,
The rain and petals of the moon,
The cream-cheese shimmer of the sun.
 
Videos of "thin" Amber freak me out because you can actually visualize what she is supposed to look like underneath the fat, as opposed to now where my brain just vaguely acknowledges that a mass of indiscernible flesh is speaking
 
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Oh, ok, I see what's going on. Becky is fat, but Amber isn't mean enough not to say that she's fat. Manners, or something.
 
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Oh, ok, I see what's going on. Becky is fat, but Amber isn't mean enough not to say that she's fat. Manners, or something.
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I feel like she answers and posts every single negative and mean ask she receives about Becky. Pretty fucked up considering it’s not her account and she has no control over when Amber shows off what is being said about her to the public.
 
She can put that on her tombstone in 2022. What a conceited bitch. You're a circus freak. People throw peanuts at you in the form of views.

And like you ain't rich yo! Your GF drives a Hyundai. You live in BFE Kentucky. You shop at Walmart.

You think Michael Kors is a high end purse.

Tricia Paytas at least knows how to spend her money on some good shit and has enough to you know, buy those things. I'd like to see AL pay for an apt in LA and purchase (or even lease) a G-Wagon.
 
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