It's going to be so sad when that little girl wakes up and realizes she hasn't been invited to help record Taylor's next hit single. "What the FRICK?!" she'll scream from her hospital bed. "She made representations! She's a public figure and legal precedent states that she is now responsible for my well-being! Where were the fucking disclaimers you dumb slut?!"
We've already got 865 pages of the book and counting, but you're among those I'd tap to write the forward.
My favorite part is the bit where he gets fired from the car parts place and says the guys who fired him had "troubled looks on their faces", which naturally means they were firing him because of Taylor Swift.
The lousy lawyer owned him before he even stepped into the courtroom, thanks to his 30 min delay. Literally ANY attorney that just showed up was capable of 1-upping Russ xD
I didn't think of this till now but that's probably a valid concern of theirs. I don't work in law but I do work in a similar industry (finance/credit stuff) and we have software that accesses government databases so we can do security searches on anyone. If you have an ssn, address, or just a last name even, you can look up every detail on a person's life and history easily. Now they log every single use of the software by every individual login id and they warn you day one not to use it on people you personally know or any non-work purpose, but you don't need permission from anyone to run it before you do a search either. It doesn't seem out of the question to me that law firms and legal practices may have access to a similar toolset and for any business that does, your character does matter to whether you get to be employed.
The fact that he called it a "random act of publicity", instead of a random act of kindness, (Which it actually was), is just more evidence that he can't comprehend doing something nice without getting anything in return. In his mind everything you do has to be rewarded, or it's not worth doing.
You bet your ass they would. Not only that, but even access to PACER would open you up. A paralegal, and apparently he was in docketing, has access to PACER. It's traceable, but you know this kid would try to track down relatives, attorneys, any and all personal information. No wonder they don't want him within a hundred miles of their firms.
