Lolcows of history

[HG 400]

agreed. tesla is the worst

Thomas Edison was a better inventor than Tesla.

 

[Gym Leader Elesa]

Abraham Lincoln obvs.

 

[millais]

Abraham Lincoln obvs.

even in his day, he was known as "the original gorilla", and his contemporaries ruthlessly made fun of his physique, poor dress, and general deportment.

 

[Y2K Baby]

even in his day, he was known as "the original gorilla", and his contemporaries ruthlessly made fun of his physique, poor dress, and general deportment.

It's also likely he had some form of depression.

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

Speaking of bunnyholes. There is the story of Mary Toft who stuffed rabbit parts up inside her vagina because she's an old school attention whore.

An even bigger cow would be the surgeon Nathaniel St André. He was surgeon to George 1, but he lost all credibility when he believed that a woman could give birth to a rabbit.

If the rabbit test was a thing back then then, they would've shit bricks.

 

[DICKPICSRUS]

Adoft Hitler

-He literally wrote a book about his struggles.
-Hitler refused to take critism
-And always blamed someone else for his own shortcomings.
-Had a relationship with his own neice
-Like teen girls
- according to nazi leader Gregor stasser Hitler would force his neice to urinate and dedicate on himself

 

[Cato]

Adoft Hitler

-He literally wrote a book about his struggles.
-Hitler refused to take critism
-And always blamed someone else for his own shortcomings.
-Had a relationship with his own neice
-Like teen girls
- according to nazi leader Gregor stasser Hitler would force his neice to urinate and dedicate on himself

He was also a loveshy/nice guy/neckbeard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler_and_Stefanie_Rabatsch

According to Kubizek, Hitler never spoke to Stefanie, always saying he would do so "tomorrow".[5] Kubizek wrote that Hitler loathed those who flirted with her, especially the military officers, whom he called "conceited blockheads";[6] he came to feel an "uncompromising enmity towards the officer class as a whole, and everything military in general. It annoyed him that Stefanie mixed with such idlers who, he insisted, wore corsets and used scent".[6] Hitler insisted that Kubizek stalk Stefanie and delivered daily reports on her activity while he was away visiting his mother or family.[7] In one report, Kubizek wrote that Stefanie loved to dance and had taken lessons. Hitler disliked dancing and reportedly replied, "Stefanie only dances because she is forced to by society on which she unfortunately depends on. Once Stefanie is my wife, she won't have the slightest desire to dance!"[7] In June 1906, Stefanie allegedly gave Hitler a smile and a flower from her bouquet as she was passing him in her carriage.[8] Kubizek later described the scene:

"Never again did I see Adolf as happy as he was at that moment. When the carriage had passed he dragged me aside and with emotion he gazed at the flower, this visible pledge of her love. I can still hear his voice, trembling with excitement, 'She loves me!' "[8]

After Hitler's mother died of breast cancer in 1907, the funeral procession went through Urfahr to Leonding. Kubizek remarks that Hitler said he had seen Stefanie at the funeral procession, which gave him some consolation.[6] Kubizek claims that "Stefanie had no idea how deeply Adolf was in love with her; she regarded him as a somewhat shy, but nevertheless remarkably tenacious and faithful, admirer. When she responded with a smile to his inquiring glance, he was happy and his mood became unlike anything I had ever observed in him. But when Stefanie, as happened just as often, coldly ignored his gaze, he was crushed and ready to destroy himself and the whole world."[6] Kubizek claims that Hitler finally stated he planned to kidnap Stefanie and kill both her and himself by jumping off a bridge into the Danube.[9] Instead he moved to Vienna, where, according to Kubizek, an idealised image of Stefanie became his moral touchstone.[10] Stefanie stated in later interviews that she was unaware of Hitler at the time, but that she had received an anonymous love letter asking her to wait for him to graduate and then to marry him, which she only realised after being questioned about him, must have been from Hitler.[10] She recalled: "I once received a letter from someone who said they were to attend the Academy of Arts, and that I should wait for him; he could come back and marry me! I had no idea who the letter might have been from or who I should have send it to."[11]

At Christmas in 1913, when he was living in Munich, Hitler was said to have placed an anonymous personal ad in the Linz newspaper with his best wishes to her, but she was already married and in Vienna by then.[12]

 

[admiral]

Emperor Elagabalus, for being a crazy tranny motherfucker and ''prankster'' who eventually got assassinated (along with his mother) by his Praetorian Guard for being too much of a spaz and fucking up Rome.
He was made emperor when he was 14 and died at 18, having been a religious fanatic and also a massive slut, crossdressing and prostituting himself in taverns and brothels. He also apparently created a lottery and gave out tickets to citizens, throwing them into the crowd (along with a unch of snakes and other nasty shit). A prize in the lottery could be anything from gold, a slave, or execution of the unfortunate 'winner'.
If you read articles about him you might find quite a lot of apologism for him due to his being a tranny, therefore he could never do anything bad.
He also bears an uncanny resemblance to someone we all know and love.

Spoiler: not implying anything by that, of course

 

[Syaoran Li]

Mao Zedong was an extremely unhygenic and egotistical horrorcow.

His economic policies were extremely exceptional even by commie standards, he almost never bathed, developed an insane cult of personality that is second only to the Kim Dynasty in terms of batshit crazy, and was generally a terrible tactician and strategist. He also was rumored to prey on young teenage girls.

The only reason his revolution succeeded was because the Kuomintang government that was leading China at the time was so wracked with infighting throughout the 1930's and 1940's. Once Imperial Japan was defeated in 1945, they tore themselves apart, allowing for Mao to take over in 1949.

Given his penchant for poor hygeine, failing to understand basic economics, and his paranoid ideological purism, it's really no wonder so many Antifa groups idolize him.

 

[Clownfish]

Mao Zedong was an extremely unhygenic and egotistical horrorcow.

His economic policies were extremely exceptional even by commie standards, he almost never bathed, developed an insane cult of personality that is second only to the Kim Dynasty in terms of batshit crazy, and was generally a terrible tactician and strategist. He also was rumored to prey on young teenage girls.

The only reason his revolution succeeded was because the Kuomintang government that was leading China at the time was so wracked with infighting throughout the 1930's and 1940's. Once Imperial Japan was defeated in 1945, they tore themselves apart, allowing for Mao to take over in 1949.

Given his penchant for poor hygeine, failing to understand basic economics, and his paranoid ideological purism, it's really no wonder so many Antifa groups idolize him.

Yeah but he wasn't he cunning? He was a guy who was both evil and good. Charming and lolcow. I hear Chinese talks bout him as if Rick Sanchez were real.

 

[DICKPICSRUS]

He was also a loveshy/nice guy/neckbeard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler_and_Stefanie_Rabatsch

I remember something about a girl when he was younger don't remember if it was Stefanie or not, but young Hitler believed he can tell her he loved her with his mind. When she didn't show any affection back he blamed the Aryan Chads.

 

[Captain Smollett]

I pick Nikola Tesla. He was horrible with money, had visions, rumored to fall in love with a pigeon, drank booze to extend his life and died a virgin

How the fuck does 3/4ths of that make him a lolcow? He just sounds alpha tbqh.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I pick Nikola Tesla. He was horrible with money, had visions, rumored to fall in love with a pigeon, drank booze to extend his life and died a virgin.

I saw a YouTube comment that blew my mind:
Nikola Tesla was ROOMMATES with MARK TWAIN.
There is the makings of a sitcom there.

He was also a loveshy/nice guy/neckbeard: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler_and_Stefanie_Rabatsch

Hitler was a real faggot.
I've read a fair bit about Stalin (two biographies, both by Simon Sebag Montefiore) and Stalin clowns on Hitler in the comparison every time.
Stalin is a handsome rogue that grew up poor and mean and rural and seduced girls left and right.
Hitler had great charisma as an orator but from all I've heard about him he was a genuine tedious bore who dominated private conversations and even his inner circle found him overbearing; his closest admirers were oddballs who were strange and offputting themselves and really, really gay about him. I read Human Smoke on somebody's suggestion here, and it has this absurd quote from Goebbels (I think?) where Goebbels is gushing over Hitler like (paraphrase, but 100% accurate in spirit, not exaggerating) "Hitler's eyes sparkle like diamonds. When he smiles at me I shiver with excitement. I want to be his friend. Does he want to be my friend? Hitler is the light of my life."

Stalin could dance, compose poetry, entertain with stories, drink. Stalin was like a straight up romantic outlaw hero that also happened to wind up being God-Emperor of the ruling ideology of a third of the world.

Don't be like Hitler. Be like Stalin.



Edit: "Shakes my hand. Like an old friend. And those big blue eyes. Like stars. He is glad to see me. I am in heaven. That man has everything to be king."

That's the writing of a man whos touched his cock thinking about the Fuhrer.

The pondering about being friends with him and whether Hitler is also giggling and thinking about him while they write in their diaries is also a real quote.


Edit: This is going to sound batshit crazy but one of the things I got out of Stalin: The Court of the Red Tsar is how similar Stalin was to Scarlett O'Hara. In the sense that Stalin had this thing, later in life when he became monstrous and paranoid, where he could not connect with others and would provoke and gloat and in doing so drive people away which made him even meaner (in the sense of both cruel and petty/small).

He was a Cool Dude but he had his own weird hangups, and one of them was that he would get extremely intense bromances/man crushes on people, then he'd start to get paranoid (separate from rational dictatoring) and sour on them and then freeze them out while talking himself into reasons he had to bump them off.

Stalin comes across as a genuinely pitiable figure: a man who desperately wanted a friend, brought an intensity that you rarely see outside of romantic love and when it could not be born by the victim he decided to makes its vessel would turn them into prey.

He a gay nigga