Ask men why they do things the way they do and maybe you'll get an honest answer

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Otterly powiedział(a):
This simply isn’t true.
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The female sex drive follows a hormonal cycle in humans, dogs, pigs, and rabbits.

Otterly powiedział(a):
Everyone enjoys enjoyable things.
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The woman doesn't enjoy sex off-cycle. The man doesn't enjoy mopping the kitchen. Yet, only one person is expected to do what they aren't wild about, solely because it makes the partner happy.

What we have here, playing out in real time in the forum, is the woman's belief that the man is obliged to meet the woman's needs regardless of how much he enjoys doing so, while the woman has no obligation to meet the man's needs unless he can raise her enjoyment of doing so to a high enough level.

And that's where your decades of quiet resentment build, and why the 47-year-old woman is truly shocked when her husband walks out of their perfect, once-a-month marriage for a woman ten years his junior who knows how to keep a man around.

I know several men who did exactly that. They've been married to the second wife for a long time (over 30 years in one case) and have far more satisfying lives. You're a scientist. The parameter that changed wasn't the man.
 
The Ugly One powiedział(a):
The female sex drive follows a hormonal cycle in humans, dogs, pigs, and rabbits.
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Yes I’m aware of that, I have one of them myself, but it’s not ‘once a month, when the moon is in the right house of Aquarius’ and nothing. So you probably don’t feel like it if you’ve got your period and you might feel a bit more up for it when you’re ovulating but it’s not 27 days off and one day on. That’s ridiculous. That’s not how a monthly cycle is at all.
If she’s not wanting to have sex at all, or 27 days out of the month, she is not enjoying sex AT ALL. that’s not a hormonal cycle, it’s not wanting to have sex with HIM.
If the sex with him was enjoyable, and she enjoyed it, she would be doing it.
In your example, wifey has fallen out of love with him, and that’s that. He goes off, which is understandable and finds someone who is into him. what you’re describing is a wife who does not want to have sex with her husband. Maybe she finds him repellent, maybe she’s out of love, maybe the sex was crap. But she’s not in love with him and doesn’t want to have sex with him. Any waffle about hormones is her just not wanting to rock the boat, what she should say is ‘I don’t love you any more.’
 
The Ugly One powiedział(a):
The woman doesn't enjoy sex off-cycle
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I mean blood is seeping out and stomach cramps. You wouldn't enjoy it in that case as well
The Ugly One powiedział(a):
I know several men who did exactly that. They've been married to the second wife for a long time (over 30 years in one case) and have far more satisfying live
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So women who remarry get rid of the cycle? Can you explain how?

Now obviously I'm joking here, but I've had my share of long term relationships, and while sure there is a biological element to it, it's not the driving force behind the decision to open up legs one day or another. If she does it one day a month, it's out of spite and she's not into you anymore, simple as. On the flip side if she IS into you, you can make her wet and horny any time of the month. Women enjoy riding dick just as much as we do getting our dick wet.
 
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Atlas Sneezed powiedział(a):
So women who remarry get rid of the cycle? Can you explain how?
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Yes, they lose a husband they don’t love and gain one they do.
And the cycle is one WEEK off in four. Not 27/28 days. If she’s bleeding 27 days a month (which can happen, and it sucks and you’d be pretty sick but you’d be treated) she needs the emergency room. If she’s refusing 27 days she isn’t enjoying the sex. Full stop.
Nobody refuses sex they enjoy with someone they love (medical reasons apart blah blah.) why is it so hard to believe she wasn’t enjoyingthe sex? I don’t get why this is such a difficult thing to accept.
She doesn’t do it because doing it is grim in some way. That’s all there is to it. WHY that is can vary.
 
Otterly powiedział(a):
If she’s refusing 27 days she isn’t enjoying the sex. Full stop.
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In my experience, "obligation sex" is not great. Sure, they go through the motions (literally), but there's no passion. The difference in body signals is telling, and the performance is noticeably worse. I, personally, feel bad and can't continue, though I'm sure it doesn't bother everyone. I suppose the argument could be made that she should "just fake it", but that's not a thing you can easily fake, and encouraging your (insert descriptor for female counterpart here) to lie convincingly to please you is only going to fuck you over later on. I can't imagine dealing with that on the regular instead of getting to the heart of the issue, whatever it is.
 
Nick Wilde powiedział(a):
So sure, a permanently sexless relationship sucks, and that's a sign to end shit, but that's a very different thing to simply not getting it every time you want it. I'd say any truly sexless marriage, it's far more an issue of resentment than mere lack of attraction.
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id keep a sexless marriage going if my wife was crippled and couldnt have sex anymore
 
The Ugly One powiedział(a):
And that's where your decades of quiet resentment build, and why the 47-year-old woman is truly shocked when her husband walks out of their perfect, once-a-month marriage for a woman ten years his junior who knows how to keep a man around.
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It's usually women that leave the man so I don't know if women should concern themselves too much with this possibility
 
Nick Wilde powiedział(a):
How crippled does one have to be to be unable to have any sexual activity? I'm actually having trouble imagining a state of such severe injury that you couldn't still find a way to make it work.
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yeah your right theres like other ways to have sex and all

id still hang in there for my wife death til we part and all
 
Nick Wilde powiedział(a):
How crippled does one have to be to be unable to have any sexual activity? I'm actually having trouble imagining a state of such severe injury that you couldn't still find a way to make it work.
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Cancer treatment, for example. Not just being physically incapacitated but damage to the tissues in the region from radiation etc.
Fishnumm powiedział(a):
id keep a sexless marriage going if my wife was crippled and couldnt have sex anymore
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Yeah I think that’s very different. Can’t and won’t are not the same. If someone you love has been injured you stuck with them. You still love them.
 
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