Używasz przestarzałej przeglądarki. Może ona nieprawidłowo wyświetlać tę lub inne strony. Powinieneś zaktualizować przeglądarkę lub użyć alternatywnej przeglądarki.
Celebrities Who Aren't Supposed to be Close Relatives but Obviously Are - Faceclocking Hall of Fame
I just joined here, so forgive me if this is a repeat topic, but then again, these are all mine, I intuited, deduced, and visually proved them all. Usually by simply putting their faces next to each other with autistic precision. Sometimes the faces alone are enough. Sometimes there's context to help confirm a faceclock, e.g., Fernando Valenzuela was a lefthanded pitcher who still holds the Dodgers franchise record for most home runs by a Mexican player, any Mexican player, not just pitchers, which is a little Ruthian of him...for a reason, as that breathtaking nose match plainly shows. I'll try to keep these to JUST the A+, A, and maybe A- faceclocks, the least disputable, the most obvious. In no particular order.
Although this one will be first because it is STILL so amazing to me, how almost nobody else ever mentioned it, except a fleeting feeble instance or two, despite being LAUGHABLY obvious, I mean, for fuck's sake, they have the exact same Dick Face, and they're both literally Dicks, and Andy even seems to have consciously aped Tim a little in GTASA, which is where that quote is from, that's Andy on San Andreas talk radio, not Tim on Home Improvement. Seems a bit intentional, the parallel, no? (Ignore the asshole in the bottom left.)
A+
Non-twin faces don't resemble each other more.
__________________________________
Here's one that might change the world a little, since it represents an instance of the hidden mass eugenics schemes that have obviously been happening for a long time. Whereas a Tim Allen prrrrrrobably just got high with Andy's mom and nutted in her, a Sumner Redstone would be involved in organized secret breeding, sperm donation, egg extraction, lies, embryo implantation, changelings, more lies, etc. That shit did not begin with Epstein. (By the way, Sumner Redstone went to Boston Latin School, which will become extremely relevant soon, BLS is an epicenter of hidden mass eugenics, for probably over 100 years. In that time, it's been situated in the Longwood area, right next to Harvard Medical School, and surrounded by the densest concentration of biolab activity in the world.)
A or A- facially, but A+ with context added, the context being they're both rich evil Jewish scumbag tycoons, but the game-clinching blindingly-obvious context is that Ellison suddenly, weirdly pivoted to becoming a MEDIA/ENTERTAINMENT/NEWS tycoon, unlike his previous domains, but EXACTLY like Sumner's Viacom media empire.
__________________________________
Lefthanded pitchers who slug home runs:
These two, and Shohei.
That's it, basically.
Rarrrrrrrrre combo.
(Does anyone else see a little Ruth in Shohei's face?)
A+, facially, especially that slanted nose, and it's probably now the Least Disputable Faceclock, when context is added it becomes an A++++ or something.
__________________________________
Sticking with baseball...
These two both played left field for the Red Sox.
In that photo, the resemblance is an A or A-.
Greenwell's face then went on to mature in different directions, which is why I always try to use photos of people as young adults, 18-22 preferably, before the drinking booze and overeating goyslop and too much sunlight and whatnot become a big factor.
__________________________________
Nobody everrrrrr compared these two men???
Prince's father and Bob Dylan.
LOOK. Just look...
The match is an A- only because of the slight racial discrepancy. But the astoundingly obvious context brings it up to an A+, in my opinion. Here's more confirmation:
So...half-brothers?
Bob is Prince's literal uncle?
__________________________________
What's the big deal with this one?
That's obviously just Jay Z's dad.
Where's the controversy?
Nope. It's officially only Biggie's dad.
Not just one angle of Gay Z, either.
A. No less than an A.
See those pointy-tipped ears? They're the Facial Comparison's MVP Feature. The eartips PROVE they're father and son, along with the rest of their fugly faces.
But the photo of Selwyn, the ONLY ONE EVER, is so grainy and blurry, I had to make a video using a technique I developed where I brighten and darken a photo so that the face's depths and edges are revealed better. Here's the video:
The video transforms it into an A+, not to mention that Jay Z was discovered by Biggie. Random? Fat chance!
__________________________________
Another nobody ever mentioned, until me.
A+, because children aren't clones of their parents, they're hybrids, although it's verrrrrry close to a clone-like resemblance here.
Obviously, this information would ANNIHILATE Kendrick's cred. I hate the phony negro munchkin, so please spread this, I want to see Kendrick destroyed.
(Don't worry, I'll destroy Drake, too, someday.)
__________________________________
This one, whewww...
A+, duh.
HOW DID NOBODY EVER EXPOSE THAT.
Maya wasn't just a fugly mediocre poet.
Maya Angelou was a satanic MAOIST.
Oprah's career has been a MAOIST PSYOP.
That's sure as fuck what it looks like, anyway.
__________________________________
It's the same one guy in the middle row, here.
Damien Eichols. The supposed rando from the West Memphis Three. He variously looks like Crowley's great-grandson, Parsons's grandson, and Aquino's son...because that's probably what he literally, biologically is.
Only an A- for any of these, facially, at best.
But the contextual support, holy shit...yowza.
__________________________________
These two both played for Arizona in college.
A-
But the context =
Yougottabefuckingkiddingme.
So...
A+
There are better comparison photos, too!
This was a rush job.
__________________________________
Missy wears clown makeup to hide the fact that she's the secret daughter of Ann Peebles.
A, given the "I Can't Stand The Rain" context.
__________________________________
Sorry, fellas.
But you gotta be honest.
Why was he sooooo into Blavatsky?
A-, given the context. More confirmation here, since Blavatsky looks like Clara's real mother:
__________________________________
Trump himself has hinted this:
A-, probably.
p.s. I made that before he weirdly went to Graceland.
__________________________________
Just a couple of New Jersey girls.
Lauryn Hill and Sarah Vaughan.
A-, probably.
__________________________________
Another NJ girl, and her official godmother, but obviously Aretha was her literal biological mother.
A+++++++++++, given the context.
Guess who the real biological father is.
You've already seen him, above.
YEP.
__________________________________
Question:
Why does Ted have Helen Ruth's laugh?
Answer:
A, followed by innumerable pluses.
__________________________________
"Fooled By Randomness", was the book by Taleb the Phoenician Douchebag, who is so often accurate...except for when he needs to bamboozle you. "Randomness", blech. Obviously not random that the only two small white point guards to win MVP look a lot alike.
A-, I guess.
__________________________________
This one...ugh. Way too long a story. For now, just know Ayo also went to Boston Latin School.
Not convinced?
A++++++++++++++++++++++
Their nearly-identical pairs of inwardly-rotated front teeth are wayyyyyyyyyy too uncommon for them NOT to be mother and daughter, not to mention the exotropic eyes, and the top-shelf sense of humor, if you're into corny commie hipster nigger jokes.
__________________________________
Same pattern.
Very unusual trait, celiac disease.
Annnnnnnnd they look THAT much alike?
And they basically do the same fucking job?
A
__________________________________
Insanely obvious.
People were partially-insane, for not noticing.
A, etc.
And if you think that's a shockingly obvious one, check Scottie Pippen and Bob Boozer, too, just as obvious. If we weren't just as bad with secret Red Sox fam, I'd call Chicago sports fans the dumbest cunts in sports fandom. They still are, but it's for other reasons.
__________________________________
If you saw these ideas trending in the first week of January, I'm the one who started that, others stole the epiphanies as their own...but shit, at least they spread it.
A-fucking-PLUS, duh, and...
If people spread it...
It might lead to Cabal's sudden overthrow.
Because it's not just them.
And many more!
__________________________________
Same here. Wanna overthrow Cabal? I do.
A's all around.
__________________________________
Nelson Mandela looked way more like a chink than Khoisan are supposed to. There's a reason.
D+, but then it turns out the grade had been altered in a Mandela Effect, so I'm correcting it to A-.
__________________________________
This one is personal.
I almost married Inbar.
A.
__________________________________
Back to sportsball...
There've been a lot of secret Pointers in the NBA.
A.
__________________________________
Zendaya is obviously Beyonce's daughter.
Right?
A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++, ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++,
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++,
++++++, etc.
Here's a video presentation to justify those pluses, I only like two Beyonce songs, and this is one of them.
Isn't that what niggers say? You're admitting you're as lazy and anti-reading as a nigger? You might want to reconsider, bruh, and try a little harder. This is extremely important shit. Also, why is that your screenname, "Doomsday Elite", do youuuuuuu fancy yourself to be among them?
But I'm not going to let anyone waste space in this super-important thread by roping me into some useless fucking banter, so here's a bunch of ungraded comparisons I left out of Round 1, thanks for prompting me to ADD MORE PROOF, you were really helpful, despite yourself. Good job, good effort, after all, ironically, by putting in zero effort. I'll put in more than enough effort to make up for your immoral indifference.
ROUND 2
Bobby Cox just died. He looks more like Babe Ruth's son than Babe Ruth's official son. He managed the Braves. Precisely the thing so cruelly denied to Ruth.
__________________________________
Swimsuit cover model, Reddina Foxx. Somebody remind me of that Sam Hyde quote about evil people thinking raping and murdering normalcy itself is funny.
__________________________________
Eminem's sister/wife counts as a celeb, right?
__________________________________
"Random", lol. Nahhhhhhh, hypothetical nigga. There is no such thing as a coincidence. Coencidences, yes. But not coincidences. I'm assuming it was a kayfabe fake attempt.
__________________________________
Makes sense, right?
__________________________________
Just to re-confirm the above.
WHATEVER IS TRUE, ACCEPT IT.
__________________________________
"Aquino Ears" are easy to spot.
__________________________________
Not sure how many of them are exactly like us, biologically. I suspect there was a secret Gooback-ish invasion from the future, one of many futures, somehow. But then, we might all have a little future-human DNA.
__________________________________
Checks out!
(For anyone who's read Infinite Jest.)
__________________________________
Rachel Chandler named her baby Wallace.
Why?
__________________________________
Cernovich is basically Tony Roberts Jr.
__________________________________
FALSE POSITIVE! Brittany Venti's mom is not Tisha Campbell. Her own parents are her real parents. (Unless WINKY got involved somehow? Hmmm.) But to be fair, Tisha might be her aunt or 1st cousin?
__________________________________
"Malcolm Smile" is a thing.
I myself have one.
__________________________________
Nobody I knew in Southie everrrrrr heard of Forrester. NOBODY. Where the fuck did he come from? My guess: THE HOWES, Julia Ward & Samuel Gridley, they must have created him, with some progressive sexual hanky-panky. They lived literally just a few hundred feet from Southie High. In the other direction, a few hundred feet, is the hill where George Washington won the first victory in the American Revolution. And I bet you people thought Southie was just a bunch of barflies, gangsters, and secret math geniuses, pfffft.
#ILiterallyFoundForrester
__________________________________
Aquino, Aquino...
...Bongino.
Poetic!
__________________________________
I don't even need a second face.
Just the glasses pasted on.
You know who his father is, by now, yes?
__________________________________
I don't know who the fuck that loser in the bottom right is, but it does sure look like Jill Cunniff from Luscious Jackson has STRONG Southie roots.
__________________________________
Sammy Davis Jr. was the Diddy of his era, he hosted the exact same kind of parties, which were attended by the Pointers, including the mother of Malik in the bottom left, Ruth Pointer.
__________________________________
Right? I dunno. It's close.
__________________________________
The best fighters have basically been one big extended biological family. Bred for it, like animals. If I were those boxers, I would want to beat some Secret Eugenicists to death. Eugenics may be unavoidable, but it must not everrrrrr be secret. Death penalty offense, in the future, maybe in the present, too.
__________________________________
Willie McGinest, Andre Tippett.
Same franchise.
Same position.
__________________________________
Conan does have some musical talent.
Just not as a singer.
__________________________________
LMFAO.
Not implausible, tho.
__________________________________
They're ballsy, in a stupid self-incriminating way. Unfortunately, we've been even more gullible and oblivious.
YOUUUUUUUUUUUU ARE THE FACEBLIND ONE. If you were stuuuuuuuupidly insinuating that I was. Exact fucking opposite. I'm the Faceclocking GOAT, and no amount of pathetic impotent gaslighting from trolls is going to change that.
Ironically, Charlie and Emilio DO NOT look very much alike. Their genetic mashups from the same DNA resulted in different expressions or something. Shows you how much variance there can be. WHICH ONLY ACCENTUATES HOW OBVIOUSLY FUCKING RELATED THE PEOPLE I POSTED ARE.
Why did you choose to compare people who look nothing alike?
Like Ellison and Redstone... WHERE THE FUCK IS THE RESEMBLANCE?
What feature of theirs is the same or even vaguely similar?
Look at this dude:
He gets mistaken for Daniel Craig so much that a lot of people think Craig has been in hundreds of things.
I am not autistic. I am accurate. I am simply using my eyeballs and common sense. Why the fuck aren't any of you people pointing out even just one single fucking detail, anything at all. Instead all you people do is just fart a bunch of generic bullshit. Generic trolling, even, not even interesting. WHY. Because you have zero interest in the truth? Or are you just a bot? I think I might soon just follow the people here who've read Infinite Jest, if this trolling bullshit persists, and then I will Ignore every single other motherfucking one of you. You, individually, have one reply to prove I shouldn't block you.
Why did you choose to compare people who look nothing alike?
Like Ellison and Redstone... WHERE THE FUCK IS THE RESEMBLANCE?
What feature of theirs is the same or even vaguely similar?
Look at this dude: Wyświetl załącznik 9011990
He gets mistaken for Daniel Craig so much that a lot of people think Craig has been in hundreds of things.
