The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Lurkin' 'n' Jerkin']

Tenacious Unicorn Ranch, now on the Isle of Ma'am

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

There's not exactly a massive range of options.

I assume they're talking about the County Galway, which has quite a few uninhabited islands, and not the city.

Why would you need to wall off an island? It's surrounded by water.

Cut the towline and let the kelpies take them away.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Wyświetl załącznik 8728932

There's not exactly a massive range of options.

Also, how are Nazis going to oppress you and justify donation money if you're surrounded by water?

Well, lets take a look at these options. The biggest one, Mutton Island, is inaccessible. Causeway ends with this gate, its all secured.

So Mutton island is out. How about the next island?


Hare Island, which a quick bit of digging in finds that it tends to kill people. The landbridge is foot accessible only, and people regularly get trapped on the island and can't actually leave based on the tides and need to be rescued. It appears to be a popular place to just walk out and check out, so its doubtful its private property. There's also fuck and all in the way of cover or land - you could fit a house on it, but I hope you like gale winds and salt water in everything.

However, I doubt you'd be allowed a new house on it. Quick check on the satellite imagery, and the troons aren't the first to go out there and build a house.

Thats an old building, and judging by the size and lack of roof, its probably one of those heritage sites the Irish love to leave up, like the church over on mutton island. Whole thing is plausibly state owned, a reserve or otherwise deliberately undeveloped land, not that it'd be good for much of anything anyway.

So we can rule out Hare Island and Mutton Island, so all that's left is that little shit strip, Rabbit island. What a naming scheme, probably sounds better in Irish.


And, some quick looks online do suggest there is a private island, with a house on it, called Rabbit Island, in Ireland! Very cozy looking, not going to lie.

Except, there's one problem. This is Galways rabbit island.

Which is mildly lacking trees, buildings, or any reasonable access. That's because the rabbit island for sale is an inland lake island, way the fuck off from here, not even close to Galway. Ireland seems to have hundreds of little islands called Rabbit island, fuckers are breeding like... well rabbits, I guess.

So one of the islands is city gated, one of them is plausibly a heritage site, and the last is so small as to be functionally uninhabitable to the point that I can't even find reference to the locals wandering onto it (admittedly, might be getting lost in hare vs rabbit naming). Realistically, the troons are just daydreaming and feeding each others illusions. Less plausibly, they're using google to look for an island name and think they're on the right spot, and they aren't because of the fucked names, and they're actually leasing ass trash somewhere in the far north. Most funny is they're just being scammed, intercontinental real estate scams fell out of favor but never really died, its just the advanced version of "I'm subleasing my apartment but I live in singapore now so please wire the rent via western union"

 

[BelUwUga]

Its Alpacaschwitz you mongs. SAY THE NAME.

I always preferred Alpachau

 

[Zippolite]

They're going to manage to turn the fertile soil of Ireland into a Martian hellscape.

Large parts of Ireland aren't that fertile. It's part of why the potato blight hit so hard: potatoes will grow well in just about any soil, so everyone was growing them over less hardy crops. Living just over the Irish sea the main Irish food imports you'll see are beef and lamb - grazing animals that you rear on poor arable land. A small rocky windswept island is not going to lend itself to any kind of farming outside of hobby vegetable gardening and maybe a few pet goats

Btw as to the asylum troons there's no way they're getting asylum status, they're just pulling the jam up the gears with appeals tactic all of the thirdies use. More to the point while you're awaiting an asylum decision you get a paltry tugboat and can't work legally (38.80 euros/week in Ireland, which is about 44 dollars in yeehaw money). That's not going to buy very many plastic robots.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

More to the point while you're awaiting an asylum decision you get a paltry tugboat and can't work legally (38.80 euros/week in Ireland, which is about 44 dollars in yeehaw money). That's not going to buy very many plastic robots.

Not to mention, isn't going to grant "lease an island for 25 years" level property rights. Yer probably allowed to rent a flat, and that's about it. At least one of them is going to have to bite the bullet on citizenship, and that'd just torpedo the rest of the batch getting in through asylum - They're gonna look poorly on one citizen and however many 'asylum seekers' suddenly all coming in to fuck around. None of them are african or islamic enough to get the handwave on everything.

 

[Toxic BRAAAAP Mask]

Don't crush my dreams, y'all. I wasn't around for the OG Tranch. I NEED this.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Or Sun Tzu.

"If your enemy is a choleric tranny, misgender him."
~Sun Troon, the tranny prince machiavelli.

All right, hear me out. Leprechaun 9: Leprechaun in Cyberspace

The troons steal his gold or some shit and he has to get it back, problem is they already cut their cranks off and the Leprechaun is at a loss as to how to torment them. Keep in mind though, what is the Leprechaun's favorite color? Green. What would the Leprechaun say to invest in? Precious metals. Just like the Kiwi Farms. So he logs on and gets all the embarrassing information on the Tranch then makes rhymes about it or whatever.

If ye be smart than give me back me gold
Or I'll repeat the things I've been told
The only thing here that passes is a llama
Now 41% over the drama

Then they correct him because it's alpacas and he does Leprechaun shit.

10 million dollars please.

Fun fact, one of the Leprechaun movies (In The Hood) had a black tranny in it. This was the early 2000s so of course the gay tranny is a total sex pervert that wants to fuck anything with a pulse and even tries to fuck the Leprechaun. Warwick Davis is 3'6". Mr. Lep ends up ventilating his abdomen with his psychic Leprechaun powers.
This is a real movie.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Maybe they could set up here?

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

The cast iron skillet at La Zorra.

The destroyed Nissan Leaf parked over a mass alpaca grave at El Trancho.

What will be the enduring abandoned symbol of failure left behind on the Irish Troonpublican Army Island?

 

[Ghostse]

Name suggestions so far:

Troonstein/Epstroon Island
Epstrogen Island
Trantasy Island
Isle of Ma'am
Tranwan
Flipped-Donger Party
Neogino Island (apt but might be a little too Deep tracks)

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

Why would you need to wall off an island? It's surrounded by water.

the smell

 

[Zippolite]

The cast iron skillet at La Zorra.

The destroyed Nissan Leaf parked over a mass alpaca grave at El Trancho.

What will be the enduring abandoned symbol of failure left behind on the Irish Troonpublican Army Island?

Kevin's wind bleached skeleton hunched over the remains of his computer surrounded by what appear to be tent poles

I submit Troonaghan for the new Tranch gaelic edition

 

[Love Is Blue]

Lord of the flies but instead of a pig head it's a dilator

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

My second suggestion is in between Coom and Faggot Hill.

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

On the bright side, if the Tranch 1.0 troons did move to Ireland to join this mystical island commune, they wouldn't have to bother too much with a sewage system, they could just feed it all to Shiteater Jen, the loathesome dung eater.

 

[who dare wins?]

Please, I beg them to do it! The drought of no tranch has been too much! For too long have we been denied the incompetence of trannies trying to do anything.

 

[FinnSven]

On the bright side, if the Tranch 1.0 troons did move to Ireland to join this mystical island commune, they wouldn't have to bother too much with a sewage system, they could just feed it all to Shiteater Jen, the loathesome dung eater.

Then what do you do with Shiteater Jen’s leavings?

It’s not only kicking the can down the road, it’s kicking the can into Chernobyl and then dealing with an irradiated can.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Then what do you do with Shiteater Jen’s leavings?

He can eat that too.

EDIT: a word

 

[BrainSand63]

This could be interesting, but I really hope they leave the animals out of it this time. The alpaca graves meme is funny but also incredibly sad