🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[unwieldy_object]

I’ve never heard her talk about this “fav musician” before. Is this any different than her revolving door BFFs she used to have?

Robyn is seen as a gay icon so of course Tess has to claim she's a fan.

 

[JT Smash: divorced & gay]

I’ve never heard her talk about this “fav musician” before. Is this any different than her revolving door BFFs she used to have?

I've given a rundown about Robyn on here before, and how Tess gloms onto to her so she can claim "ka-weer cred". This is exact same situation with Tessy's "friendship" with Lizzo - barely being in celebrity's orbit, then exaggerating it to make everything believe it is much deeper than it really is so she can leech off their fame and cred. The only difference is Tess is doing this for gay cred instead of Black cred.

Now that Messy Tessy got her name and face connected to someone with much more fame and gay cred than her, she will milk this harder than a horny man with a lactation fetish, just like she did with Lizzo until her name became toxic in their circles. Watch as she starts tagging Robyn and drops her name like she drops farts on cakes for money.

What a fucking shameless fame whore.

 

[beautiful person]

"The Cut" still exits?
AQPUrnFmUFdccng_W-FFEJzsmHwRD_x0gY0yaFd_hEjsbtRXOAulzgj70SI7pviJjpcmo3VCbzVnGzNoxT4r9naW.mp4

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Poor Robyn. She has some songs I like.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

She definitely has a pattern for attention- poor me, someone picked on me!!
And " I'm hot and you're not! So !"
These are at least a year old. When she was trying to emulate Sabrina Carpenter.

Spoiler: NSFW

 

[TheGoodNamesHaveBeenTaken]

Holy hamburgers, she's packed on the pounds.

At first, I was looking because I wanted to see if her THIS ASS has drooped anymore (it really hasn't - the flappy flatjacks are still just sad flesh tubes rolled into her bra) by using her scorpion tattoo as a reference. But as I was looking at her 2021 pictures when the tattoo was fresh, I was rather floored.

Behold! 2021 (mirrored so the tattoo's in the same orientation) to 2026.
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To be more side-by-side with the size (except the hands kind of obscure things):
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Pardon me, I'm gonna go cleanse my soul with honey whiskey now.

Soon she wont need the panties.
The gut will cover her neither regions.
She will go out in public with duct tape covering the nips and nothing else.
What a time to be alive.

 

[The Hardest R]

Oh wait, it’s this Robyn?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robyn

Just for the hell of it, I searched “Robyn” in this thread and Tubbers only brought her up once on November 13, 2025. So looks like Robyn is one of her “fav musicians” like Lizette/evilpork was her BFF.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Tess was like, "Fuck all y'all former fatties slimming down on Ozempic! I'm going to get EVEN FATTER to show all y'all skinny bitches!"

I suspect she was on Ozempic for a hot minute, but since she likely didn't stay away from sugar or binging food it probably made her feel sick as hell. So now she's doubling down on the dying "body positivity" shit.

 

[The Hardest R]

I suspect she was on Ozempic for a hot minute, but since she likely didn't stay away from sugar or binging food it probably made her feel sick as hell. So now she's doubling down on the dying "body positivity" shit.

There are also a lot of fly by night quack weight loss centers and spas that sell generic semaglutide. She doesn’t seem like the type to go to a doctor to get a prescription, which requires being diagnosed as a diabetic. Those generic versions may not be as effective as the real deal. That place where she goes to a sauna likely sells it.

 

[Constellationzero]

She definitely has a pattern for attention- poor me, someone picked on me!!
And " I'm hot and you're not! So !"
These are at least a year old. When she was trying to emulate Sabrina Carpenter.

Tess's Truth:

* A Cronenberg Body Horror
* Every Tool video
* An anti-social disorder PSA
* An advertisement for Febreeze
* A Before

 

[NoReturn]

The black friend returns?
Is it the same person as that party a while back?

If not for the color scheme these two could be sisters.

This is what emotional wealth looks like
Thank u to my girl @shelbicarlynn for loving on us #sisterhood

 

[JT Smash: divorced & gay]

I suspect she was on Ozempic for a hot minute, but since she likely didn't stay away from sugar or binging food it probably made her feel sick as hell. So now she's doubling down on the dying "body positivity" shit.

There are also a lot of fly by night quack weight loss centers and spas that sell generic semaglutide. She doesn’t seem like the type to go to a doctor to get a prescription, which requires being diagnosed as a diabetic. Those generic versions may not be as effective as the real deal. That place where she goes to a sauna likely sells it.

Both seem very likely. Tess the Mess has to realize by now that everything she's done to regain the teeny bit of fame she had back in her glory days isn't working, and secretly got some Ozempic, hoping that slimming down would get her back on magazine covers and runways.

Knowing her, she either got the real stuff and couldn't stop NOURISHING HER BODY with those liquid sugar bombs at Starbucks (which makes you feel like hot garbage on GLP-1s), or she acted like her usually cheap white trash self and got some watered down knock-off at some back alley clinic.

Either way, it didn't work and her latest flurry of THIS ASS pics is just sour grapes over knowing she'll soon be too fat to live and die a never was.

 

[Poopfart]

She definitely has a pattern for attention- poor me, someone picked on me!!
And " I'm hot and you're not! So !"
These are at least a year old. When she was trying to emulate Sabrina Carpenter.

Spoiler: NSFW

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More folds than a sharpei god damn

 

[Dr. Butt]

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Y'all still hungry?

That hotel room is so decrepit it makes the photos look like stills from a John Waters movie.

 

[JT Smash: divorced & gay]

That hotel room is so decrepit it makes the photos look like stills from a John Waters movie.

Tess will never get those black cha-cha heels for Christmas, only because they can’t find any that fit on her piggy hooves.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Knowing her, she either got the real stuff and couldn't stop NOURISHING HER BODY with those liquid sugar bombs at Starbucks (which makes you feel like hot garbage on GLP-1s), or she acted like her usually cheap white trash self and got some watered down knock-off at some back alley clinic.

Good point about the Starbucks sugabombs, which I'm sure Mess doesn't think is fattening since "it's liquid" (this is pure death fat logic). I also think alcohol (I assume because of the high sugar content?) also makes you feel like shit and it wouldn't surprise me if Two Tonne Tessie drinks more than we think.

 

[JT Smash: divorced & gay]

Good point about the Starbucks sugabombs, which I'm sure Mess doesn't think is fattening since "it's liquid" (this is pure death fat logic). I also think alcohol (I assume because of the high sugar content?) also makes you feel like shit and it wouldn't surprise me if Two Tonne Tessie drinks more than we think.

I’ve known people on GLPs, and they avoid sugar and booze because they say they pay for it with nausea, stomach cramps, and hot liquid shits.

I can only imagine Tess not curbing her taste for those sugary cocktails and Starbucks diabetes brews, and quitting Ozrmpic after making her poor toilet suffer even more than it already does.

 

[El Chacal De La Trompeta]

This broad talking about her amaaazing life and her totally worthwhile contributions to mental health looking like a pig clown its really disgusting to me for some.reason.

 

[UlcerousCow]

Back in the day, this hambeast was all the rage on /r/fatepeoplehate

 

[NoReturn]

Tess Hlliday · @tessholliday
Posted 23 hours ago
717.05K followers
14.32K views
1.53K likes
120 comments
19 shares
moshimo sound design - Chopin Nocturne No. 2 Piano Mono
AAA you did me dirty man #lifeinsurance #oops #advice #lol

"Non-health issue having human"
TESS. TESS. WAKE. UP.
What the hell are you talking about?


Guess she's still in Long Beach.


Will crosspost this, too.

 

[Vastly Amused]

download.mp4

"Non-health issue having human"
TESS. TESS. WAKE. UP.
What the hell are you talking about?

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Guess she's still in Long Beach.

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Will crosspost this, too.

2 lies noted regarding her life insurance video.

She CAN get life insurance, but she'll have to shop around, undergo a medical exam, and pay an exorbitant premium.

If she exercised every day she wouldn't be breathless and turn beet red just from talking.