I might be late to this, but I don't think jstlk is Bert. Bert has displayed organized thoughts and often appears to me, to be a thoughtful individual. I don't think I get this impression from Jstlk.
Thank you friend. I'd think the most obvious sign that I'm not JSTLK is that I don't use slurs. For example, I always refer to them as DGG, Footsoldiers, or Cum Renfeilds rather than using the Indian slur, which JSTLK uses. I recently quoted my boy Latrell's post where he uses a slur rather than typing it myself.
Although I did at one time, I also don't use homophobic or racial slurs. JSTLK does. It really doesn't make any sense that I would do it on a platform where I can get in trouble for it but wouldn't do it on Kiwifarms. But you know, not everyone is observant. I'm also pretty sure JSTLK isn't actually a liberal and I'm pretty open about being one.
I should change my avatar back, but seeing JSTLK's head on Oscar of Astora's body makes me laugh when I see it, so I'm probably going to leave it. (I've never heard JSTLK talk about Dark Souls, by the way.)
Let me know if I am understanding this correctly, we have to have at least 5 of the 9 attributes to make the diagnosis right? Also much of the criteria is unclear to me. For example, what do we mean by "arrogant" or "haughty behaviors"? When it says "excessive admiration" what does "excessive" mean? If I require that my husband compliments me once a week is that "excessive"? What if the requirement is 15 times a week?
It's like what they say about the difference between art and porn. You'll know it when you see it.
One thing that's very funny about narcissism is that normal people start wondering if they're narcissists because they do some of the things on the list some of the time. Everyone does. Everyone wants to be complimented and admired. Everyone has some insecurities and need some kind of outside validation to help with them. (Incidentally, people who are worried about being narcissists probably aren't, and the ones who think it's not possible very well could be.)
The reason why it's so hard to diagnose a narcissist is because they downplay a lot of their excessive traits and you catch them through observation. Steven will never be diagnosed as a narcissist, either, because there's no point in diagnosing someone with narcissism since they won't accept it anyway. So a lot of the time they're diagnosed and treated with something else like children. Maybe they're diagnosed with autism and taught how to be more empathetic that way.
Anyway, if you have some kind of insecurity and you share that with your husband and ask that he compliment you more, that's not necessarily excessive. I don't know if you meant to use the word "required" but if you do actually REQUIRE it and your behavior becomes harmful when you don't get what you need, then it could be excessive because most people aren't going to turn a request into a demand or punish the other person when they don't do it. Destiny doesn't officially make this demand of anyone, but he certainly requires the admiration to function, and we can see it in his behavior. (Also, I would say that if you're putting a quota on the number of compliments you get a week rather than just ASKING him to compliment you, then that's when I'm going to start calling it excessive because you're behaving in a way that most people wouldn't. So it's really about the type of action rather than then number.)
- When he's having a bad time or receiving excessive criticism, he slinks off to DGG and attacks other people. He's doing this because he needs the validation from his sycophants. This is also why he bans "unnecessary criticisms" from his communities. He needs the validation he gets from his audience in order to function. When he doesn't get it, it comes out in a different reckless and harmful ways to the people around him.
- Most people don't need to have as many sexual partners as Destiny does. A lot of people have affairs, right? People talk about it all the time where their husband wasn't noticing them and they got attention from another man, one thing leads to another, and they make a mistake. People like Destiny need to have a revolving cast of people to fuck for that exact same reason. He needs his validation to be refilled over and over and over by new people. He has talked about how he can't be faithful or monogamous, and when asked why, he'll say because it's a lot of fun to sleep around. But it's probably just because he needs new people all the time making him feel better about his insecurities. (Also because he doesn't respect his partners as people and doesn't understand that cheating on your partner does actually cause PTSD and changes their way their brains work. He doesn't care about that at all.) So cheating one time, is not something I would call EXCESSIVE even if the person does it for the same reason. It's excessive when it becomes kind of a defining thing for them.
- I've said it a hundred times, but I do not agree that Destiny is a pedophile. I think the reason he is involved with younger people, even defending his habit of talking to underage people and giving them advice, is because they view him as a mentor figure and that soothes an insecurity in Destiny. He actually does this with anyone he can, but young people are more likely to do it in the way he wants. A 35 year old women probably is just going to see him as a loser gamer who wears sweatpants and thinks his stupid blue hair looks stupid. So he gravitates towards people that show him admiration. A lot of the time it leads to sex because of that second bullet point, but these two things work together.
As for arrogant/haughty behavior, that's generally referring to a person creating an internal hierarchy and all of their engagement with others is going to be driven by that hierarchy. In short, it means you think you're superior to other people. In Destiny we can see this in different ways.
- In his conversation with Hasan Piker, one of the things that really bothered me is the way he talked to him like he was a dog. Destiny uses a lot of phrases that normal people don't use in normal conversation unless they're trying to belittle someone and make it clear that they're higher up in the hierarchy. For example, if you listen to that conversation he frequently says to his FRIEND, "Do you understand that." Like, "Do you understand that dogs have fur?" Do most people talk to you that way? No. Do your friends talk to you that way? I hope not. Because when they do, they're insulting you and trying to establish that they are better than you.
- He frequently talks about how he's exceptional and compliments himself. (My favorite line in the Dead Domain video was when they say Destiny was going to talk about his favorite subject: himself.) So he'll say things like, "I don't like to brag, but one thing I'm really really really really good at is listening to what other people are saying." "When I go out to dinner with other people, I always pay the bill even though Vaush could afford it." (This is more examples of him needing admiration as well, like when he talked about how he paid his parents debts, which is both him setting himself up as an exceptional VERY GENEROUS person, but also he's better than his parents and you guys should admire him.)
- When you watch Destiny talk to other people, he doesn't have conversations like a normal person. He has to be the center of attention. He acts like he's giving a lecture. He's talking AT them. But then when he feels like he'd rather do something else, he will spend the rest of his time on his phone because he doesn't respect them. There are very clear signs that he's created a hierarchy in his head that he maybe doesn't outright share with other people, but you can see it in how he talks and acts around people. When he's "on" he's on. He's very performative in unnatural ways.
The difference with Destiny is that he doesn't necessarily act arrogant in the same ways other people do and it's because he is actually smarter than a lot of narcissists. (It kills
@Code Cave when I compliment Destiny, but it's true.). He knows he can't behave in ways that make it obvious that he thinks he's better than everyone else. He can't just say that. He can't just say, "I'm smarter than Sam Seder." He has to call them stupid and then attack them in ways where he's signaling that he's better.
Anyway, a lot of Destiny's behaviors show up in everyone. He's just kind of extreme or unnatural about them, and when he's not able to do them, he doesn't function well. So when it comes to arrogance, when he has to be on equal footing with someone, or can't lil bro them, he doesn't respond well.
One thing that I think is so attractive about Destiny is that he does these things and people mistake his arrogance and narcissism for confidence. I believe that NotSoErudite, who is FULL of insecurities, copies Destiny because she recognizes another person who is deeply insecure, but she thinks he's figured out how to handle it better than she did. That's why her copying his behavior so natural. She's taking on defense mechanisms that she didn't develop naturally.
I've said it a hundred times, but I like it when Destiny is acting like a narcissist towards people I don't like, who I think deserve it. It wasn't until he started openly treating his friends this way that I really started to dislike him. He's lying when he says that 2022 brought in all of the drama people. A lot of us were there for his politics and his drama made us not like him because he couldn't mask as well as he did before. (If you watch him on YouTube only, like I did, you probably wouldn't even be aware of his personal life prior to that time period. Whereas people who actually did watch him stream for years, or were in DGG, would have spotted it sooner. Which is why I find this thread and specific users so valuable.)
Destiny loves when we psychoanalyze him, so thank you for bringing this up.
