Iran Crisis & the 2026 War between Iran and the United States, Gulf States, and Israel - Please focus on news and coverage, not argumentation.

[Astro Galactic Megalul]

Even funnier, Al-Khwarizmi was Persian

That's the guy I had in mind, so I was wrong but also correct
Frankly, I can't tell anyone from that region apart. They all look like they could use some bombing to me.

 

[JeanRob1]

That's the guy I had in mind, so I was wrong but also correct
Frankly, I can't tell anyone from that region apart. They all look like they could use some bombing to me.

It's easy:
Persians : Competent people, were great back centuries ago, wants to be great again
Arabs : They are still trying to imitate a pedophile robber from the 6th century because that's the only thing they've ever done

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Confirmation that the F-35s in PR are moving to the Gulf.

American F-35s with the 158th Fighter Wing, the same one that was deployed to Puerto Rico and assisted in the U.S. operation to capture Nicolás Maduro, were spotted landing on the Azores Islands, Portugal, on their way to the Middle East.

 

[polakrobak99]

Hey @grok give me a percentage probability of "something happening" this weekend.

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Hey @grok give me a percentage probability of "something happening" this weekend.

27% on Friday, 32% Saturday, 46% Sunday due to the full moon. If there's a government shutdown this weekend I doubt we'll see a Happening until it's over.

 

[Crex Crex]

I divined the grease pattern left at the bottom of my pan after making dinner, and based on that I can confidently say Khamenei will be raped within the weekend.

 

[Clyde Cash's Left Teste]

I divined the grease pattern left at the bottom of my pan after making dinner, and based on that I can confidently say Khamenei will be raped within the weekend.

Feels like in the next 36 hours

 

[KonradCruise]

I swear cosmic forces are at work and the US will not only strike but capture and depose the supreme leader on feb 2nd just to spite my first stage betting.

 

[Burnt Fish]

on january 2nd

now that would be impressive

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

The French have been doing a lot of business with Iran on the side.

My Iranian friends still hate the French since they let Ruhollah kKhomeini chill out in the French countryside and because it was Air France that flew him back to Iran after they toppled the Shah.

 

[KonradCruise]

now that would be impressive

24 hours sleep deprived posting, whoops.

 

[babyDunk]

Just learned that the 800 prisoners were executed anyway? This 100% true?

Terrible if true.

 

[Chuckwagon]

Noor Pahlavi - RP's eldest daughter and probable heiress if he actually retakes the Sun Throne - has written an article promoting the anti-Islamist revolution, defending her dad against accusations of being power-hungry & arguing in favor of his transition plan. (Archive) I think this is the first I've seen of her actually talking about Iranian politics.

On that note, you can find said transition plan here. The most important part of said plan in the short term is that Emergency Phase Booklet, which lays out Pahlavi & friends' strategy for specifically the first 100-180 post-Mullah days. Haven't fully read it myself b/c it's 169 pages long so I can't tell you just how or grounded it is, but from what I have read so far, it seems they've at least put some thought into a transitional government; holding a public referendum so the Iranian people can vote on whether to publicly try (and hopefully execute) the Mullahs and their lackeys or cuck out & give them amnesty for the purpose of 'national healing' (I better see an 80%+ margin in favor of retvrning to tradition & subjecting those wannabe sandniggers to scaphism); also holding a public constitutional referendum (this would be where the Iranians get to vote to either restore the Shah or set up a new normal republic), with this whole transitional phase overall having an 18-36 month timeline; not immediately scrapping the entire legal system & dissolving every single institution in hopes of avoiding the pitfalls of Debaathification, etc.

 

[thx1138]

What they need in that first 180 days isn't de-wahabification but desalination. Another 20000 dead murderous dune coons won't suddenly cause water to flow from decades-dry qanats or reservoirs.

 

[FieldPiece]

BREAKING: Trump offers Iran a safe way out of this mess. Says this can all be decided by a fair fight in the ring. Iran chooses Hasan Piker and Trumps chosen combatant is one Sam "The Candyman" Hyde. President Trump appeared shocked by Irans choice saying "Really, that guy? I get he's got a tiny head, lots of people say he's got a tiny head. But my guy, he's a big guy in general, but for you? He's definitely a big guy for you"

 

[draggs]

I think next weekend

There's more THAADs sent to the region today that will take until Saturday to set up

USS George HW Bush allegedly heading across the Atlantic now, could be going to the Mediterranean or around the Cape to the Red/Arabian sea area

USS Abraham Lincoln has turned off its transponder so this weekend still a possibility

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Emperor of Gran Colombia, El Presidente of Cuba, future Shah of Iran, and nanny for JD Vance's horde of half-pajeet kids has revoked all visas for Iranians with connections to the Assholla's regime.


Government shutdown averted. Chance of a Happening this weekend just increased. Status Monitoring Attention Level: DefCon 2. Man your X timelines and report to your Telegram news channel viewing device.

 

[Snekposter]

BREAKING: Trump offers Iran a safe way out of this mess. Says this can all be decided by a fair fight in the ring. Iran chooses Hasan Piker and Trumps chosen combatant is one Sam "The Candyman" Hyde. President Trump appeared shocked by Irans choice saying "Really, that guy? I get he's got a tiny head, lots of people say he's got a tiny head. But my guy, he's a big guy in general, but for you? He's definitely a big guy for you"

When asked to comment about his potential opponent, Sam Hyde had only this to say:

"Hasan Piker, I AM COMING TO KILL YOU! IN LOS ANGELES! AT YOUR HOUSE!"

 

[Mr. Racewar1488]

Flight from Tehran to Moscow.
Wyświetl załącznik 8491034

We have a possible identity of the passenger:

 

[teriyakiburns]

We have a possible identity of the passenger:

Bugging out, or making a final plea for Russian assistance?