💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Slavic Patronym]

Connie Scalfani was born on December 9, so their birthdays were only three days apart. Interesting. You have to think that an unmedicated, undiagnosed and abusive woman -- who was also poor -- combined their birthday "celebrations" for many years.

Also, both mother and son were conceived on or around the Ides of March. Darkness and doom is in the blood of this lolcow.

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind

Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

 

[Tiresome]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N8CDdaxAi3Q
Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

Ah yes, adding a huge amount of unnecessary additional sugar to an already sugar-laden food, typical fare for Carnivore King Jack.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N8CDdaxAi3Q
Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

It's funny how fatty sometimes still pretends he doesn't eat the stuff because of CARNIVORE but then other times he shoves sugary shit down his gullet without a care for the larp

 

[Barsik]

So the "hack" is to add more sugar? Wow genius. How did you come up with that one? And ofc he loved it.

You could tell the peanut butter one looked much better after baking and he was kinda jealous lmao he really regretted pre selecting the regular brownies for himself.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

It's funny how fatty sometimes still pretends he doesn't eat the stuff because of CARNIVORE but then other times he shoves sugary shit down his gullet without a care for the larp

It's even funnier given how he acts like Sugar is pure poison.

 

[Shartavius]

It's even funnier given how he acts like Sugar is pure poison.

Jack only rails against SHURGUR because his doctors told him he can’t have it - Which he is only willing to react to by insisting no one else can, either. You can tell from perceiving Jack with any two senses that every one of his problems is an obvious consequence of lacking the willpower to deprive himself of anything bad for him, and his wiper with the giant nostrils and ass clearly lacks the willpower to tell him “no” when he cries and pines for EVERYTHING NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW, despite him being nothing more than a torso overflowing out the mouth and ass.

Jack could sanctimoniously podcast about how no one is allowed to have black dick in their ass anymore; and we’d all immediately know that Tammy must be footing the bill procuring it for him any time he whines for it.

 

[AnOminous]

Ah yes, adding a huge amount of unnecessary additional sugar to an already sugar-laden food, typical fare for Carnivore King Jack.

Doesn't this mentally retarded jackass often rant about how SHURRRGERRR is the ultimate evil?

Then he literally just eats an entire bag of it. Kill yourself, Jack.

Jack could sanctimoniously podcast about how no one is allowed to have black dick in their ass anymore;

And if he did, his very next video would involve him taking an entire Negro sports team up his fat ass.

 

[soulless guarantee]

Jack only rails against SHURGUR because his doctors told him he can’t have it - Which he is only willing to react to by insisting no one else can, either

He doesn't give a fig-leaf about what his doctor says (c.f. stroke rehabilitation, or rather lack of). Despite being diabetic for what, well over a decade (pretty sure some of his early blog reveal that), he only got on his high horse about sugar being poison (along with vegetables and carbs) when big brother Chawls bloviated at him about how the carnivore diet was the mensa-IQ wrinkly brain level diet. However, he's never going to admit that he failed on controlling his eating (in this case, limiting himself to carnivore, but he's done the same on all the other diets like Sanford etc), because in his mind he has done nothing wrong and it's just the trolls being sad and pathetic to bring it up

 

[Shartavius]

Jack will put commenters in the "boys club" for doubting him when he doesn't know what the fuck he said. It turns out those with a terminal case of nothing to be proud of will blow a gasket over even perceived slights.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Remember when Jack kept lecturing people on how sugar is poison

 

[Adamska]

Doesn't this mentally retarded jackass often rant about how SHURRRGERRR is the ultimate evil?

He almost certainly uses a similar fatlogic to justify eating what he craves and gets pissy over not having to when he uses those sugary as fuck rubs on his meats. My best guess is it's a mix of "for da kidz", "for da show" and a few other copes to justify being a hypocrite to himself. And then smugly thinking he's outwitted anyone but his own retarded ass.

 

[Shartavius]

Jack is a testament to the inevitability of trying to outrun yourself leaving you with nowhere to stand. He's an offensive pile of atrophied biohazard which manages to be less graceful on land than a jellyfish, and all because everyone else is wrong for telling him to put the fork down. It was all so avoidable that you can't help but wonder if he was banking on eating himself to death happening more quickly or less gradually than it has. God, I want another cookbook from him before his appendages rot off.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N8CDdaxAi3Q
Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

It's not even that impressive when you get down to it. Besides real brownies are made from scratch. Fatty just wants food as fast as possible so he goes for the mixes.

So the "hack" is to add more sugar? Wow genius. How did you come up with that one? And ofc he loved it.

Well yeah as well as milk that is thicker than usual. You might get the same result without the extra sugar if you used something like half and half instead of normal milk.

Jack only rails against SHURGUR because his doctors told him he can’t have it

No that's because Chawls told him that and he takes the words of his brother as gospel.

But he was 100% fine with sugar before he got the 'beetus. This is just him showing that he can't practice self-control and he needs to blame somebody or something other than himself. So "SHURGER BAD!".

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N8CDdaxAi3Q
Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

The image he chose looks like literal shit on a shingle.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

He doesn't give a fig-leaf about what his doctor says (c.f. stroke rehabilitation, or rather lack of). Despite being diabetic for what, well over a decade (pretty sure some of his early blog reveal that), he only got on his high horse about sugar being poison (along with vegetables and carbs) when big brother Chawls bloviated at him about how the carnivore diet was the mensa-IQ wrinkly brain level diet. However, he's never going to admit that he failed on controlling his eating (in this case, limiting himself to carnivore, but he's done the same on all the other diets like Sanford etc), because in his mind he has done nothing wrong and it's just the trolls being sad and pathetic to bring it up

I wonder what his cardiologist told him at the last visit. He wrote in a review that the doctor “pulled no punches,” yet he didn’t rant afterward. That makes me think the visit was mostly pleasantries. Then the doctor gave him a 1 year follow-up hoping he never comes back in to talk down to him about bullshit he heard from Charles.

 

[p1138]

This BROWNIE Hack Blew My Mind
https://youtube.com/watch?v=N8CDdaxAi3Q
Not even going to bother with an archive for this. Yet another snooze-fest. Jack just makes boxed brownie mix using condensed milk as the liquid. They are undercooked but he and Tammy like it that way. Tammy moos GUD and gives it an A grade.

Makes chocolate brownies with extra SHUGUR for "church friends"
Makes peanutbutter chocolate brownies with extra SHUGUR and SHUGUR free frosting(wtf... why do brownies need frosting?) to Tammy can "take them to work" Yeah I'm sure her co-workers would appreciate overly sweet half baked brownies with shitty frosting on top.

What a wonderful excuse for fatty instead of his typical "gonna make a dubba batch"(as if him, tammy, the kids, and the infant need 20,000 calories a day).

Uses olive oil on the pan for brownies? What the fuck? Just lightly butter or oil the pan, you don't need olive oil for that shit. You can even see the edges of the batter where the oil has pooled even though he tries to hide it with the black bar.


2:58 can't remember what brownie mix he picked, says "I'll try this on the show" for the extra SHUGUR brownies even though they were supposed to go to church.

3:21 "cut all the way across and destroy that baby, moist" as tammy butchers the mess of half cooked brownies. Starts to cut the square pan as 3x3, leaving a square in the corner, then mangles them some more trying to pule out the rectangle instead of cutting it again. Ends up removing 1/3 of the brownies from the pan, Tammy gets her fingers all over them. I thought these were going to church? Tammy then shoves a brownie into her face, and proclaims how she likes frosting on her brownies.

Fatty goes to a mega church. Assuming he actually would take the remaining 6 in the pan to church... you're handing out 1-2 day old brownies to a half dozen people out of the thousands in attendance? Yeah that makes a whole lot of sense in mushbrain land as an excuse to just cram 2 brownies into his mouth once the camera is off.

 

[Shartavius]

Jack telling compounding lies to do with eating things he shouldn't be eating just means that he's still breathing.

 

[AnOminous]

The image he chose looks like literal shit on a shingle.

Shit on a shingle (creamed chipped beef on toast) is actually good.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Shit on a shingle (creamed chipped beef on toast) is actually good.

Was going to say "that was the joke" but wasn't sure how many people besides us have actually had it.