Years ago I was home alone (small female) and there was a knock on the door. I peek out the window and see a stream of Mexicans going from a packed car up to the front porch, men and women, with children out and playing. I texted my dad to ask what to do, he said to ignore it. They kept knocking. Finally I got annoyed and answered. The spokesperson was this sausagey 4’9 Mexican man who starts to explain that he wants to talk to the man of the house and comes up the steps, I immediately tell him firmly if he comes any closer I’ll call the cops. He stops and goes “whoa whoa!!” like I’m a horse and insists they’re not there for any trouble. The vibe is very bad, Mexican lanklets are hanging out of every window of their car like crushed spiders, watching me. I ask them what they want, the man says he has a proposal. I’m in the Twilight Zone. What’s your proposal my good man? He says he and his family, and he gestures to all 35 of them, would like to propose to any man in the house (I never let them know whether there was or wasn’t one), that they would not only cover our rent, but pay us thousands of dollars on top of it, to let them live there. Kids were already climbing a tree. I told them that I would relay the message to my father, they said they would wait outside. Despite my anxiety I got impatient and instead of coming up with some story about why they should really not wait (again, I didn’t want them to know I was alone) I told them to get the fuck off my lawn before I called the cops, obviously we weren’t going to take them up on their offer so fuck off. I slammed the door and started crying. He and his wife started bickering in Mexican seemingly about how to proceed, while I stood at the door with 911 dialed, and then eventually they drove off.
