🌟 Internet Famous Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

[YoRHa No. 2 Type B]

Petition to rename this thread to „Billy Mitchell Hot Sauce Appreciation Thread“

Imagine being so unbelievably boring that your Kiwifarms thread can't say anything interesting about you, and pivots to your worst enemy, the hot sauce salesman and Donkey Kong/Pacman legend himself.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Imagine being so unbelievably boring that your Kiwifarms thread can't say anything interesting about you, and pivots to your worst enemy, the hot sauce salesman and Donkey Kong/Pacman legend himself.

How many people can you point out that held world records for classic arcade games everyone knows? Or whose family owns a restaurant chain? Or sells hot sauce online with their face on it? Or has a documentary made about them? Probably nobody else except for Billy Mitchell himself.

Like I said yesterday, if you want a tranny-protecting, blowhard, mentally broken, gooning, left-wing terminally online speedrunning type, you likely don't have to go very far to find any old faggot out there just like Karl in your area. He's so typical. Him losing a lawsuit is the ONLY interesting thing about him.

Billy is THE King. Karl is a loser.

 

[Buckaroo]

Fuck it, I'll post something on topic. I don't think anyone in the thread has mentioned it but Karl's sponsor for his most recent video is Revolut, a banking service that's not only known for getting customer's money stolen but also refuses to refund them when it happens. I can see why Karl would want a sponsor like this, his gofundme for his trial was a scam and he refused to refund the people that were upset when they discovered the truth.

 

[Colon capital V]

Let's compare:
High-score achievements
>require actual skill
>time and patience
>anything is unpredictable, you have to be quick on your fingers to avoid the most unexpected of hazards
>actually commendable and a way to gauge how well someone plays ever since its inception.
Whereas with speedrunning
>requires you to do the same task over and over again
>no creative thought, just push the buttons and directions in the right time at the right moment to "go faster".
>anything unpredictable like RNG is seen as a nuisance, so players actively discourage or find ways on mitigating unpredictable factors, defeating the point of a game.
>this """skill""" is only commendable by other autists and trannies who have sunken thousands of hours into repeating the same task in order to get the best time, literally no indication of skill or gameplay understanding besides "everything has to be absolutely perfect in the way *I* want, otherwise I'm not gonna beat it fast enough."
It's like Josh says, there would be no "speedrunning olympics" because everything would have to go perfectly fine in the way a spedrunner wants it to, otherwise they would never repeat that 52 second Bridge record.

 

[NegaBoogie1488]

Buying the hot sauce from the site, I had a far lower order number than I would have expected, in the low thousands. While I’m excited to try it, with the way this thread was talking about it and how long it’s been offered I expected way more orders.

He just updated to a new site. The old site had gallon sizes available. I think it’s 2 months old at this point so that might explain it.

 

[Whocaresman]

We did it Reddit!

I was also excited when the king liked my replies.

Also which one of you guys posted this in karl's server

 

[Burger Kong]

Imagine being so unbelievably boring that your Kiwifarms thread can't say anything interesting about you, and pivots to your worst enemy, the hot sauce salesman and Donkey Kong/Pacman legend himself.

Not that long ago I was trying to look up if there were any updates about Jirard the Completionist and his whole charity fraud case. It brought me to some subreddit that was supposed to be about the Completionist but since there's been no updates regarding him the entire thing was just full of posts about the Karl/Billy case. This of course doesn't really have anything to do with Jirard besides the fact Karl made those videos exposing Jirard's charity fraud.

You can be a giant lolcow but if you don't make updates than there's really nothing to talk about. Billy keeps making funny tweets so there's discussion to be had there. A lolcow like Moviebob doesn't really do much that is notable but he is constantly tweeting stupid shit which is what keeps his thread constantly active.

 

[30+GameOvers]

I'm pretty sure somebody already posted this, but this one made me laugh

What an absolute legend. Karl is going to have nightmares about King Billy 20 years from now, when he's living in some shitty low end apartment since he can't afford anything else LMFAO

 

[Burger Kong]

I'm pretty sure somebody already posted this, but this one made me laugh
Wyświetl załącznik 7324287
What an absolute legend. Karl is going to have nightmares about King Billy 20 years from now, when he's living in some shitty low end apartment since he can't afford anything else LMFAO

Really goes to show how stupid Karl is if he thinks saying "stop posting billy's tweets here" will have anything but the opposite effect. Karl just admitted that billy's tweets bother him. By admitting this he will just make Karl haters post Billy's tweets even HARDER.

Imagine you're a kid with another kid bullying you at school. You say "hey stop calling me fat that really bothers me." Now the bully is going to call you fat even more because he knows it bothers you. This is basically what Karl is doing by saying "hey stop posting billy's tweets".

 

[Mussolini’s Merkin]

Keep in mind that for most twitter shitposters they just shitpost for the joy of it. For Billy every shitpost he makes to Karl is probably convincing more people to buy his hot sauce. So every trolling tweet he makes is probably more money in his pocket.

To be fair, seeing this tweet pop up on my feed is what finally pushed me over the edge to buy some hot sauce for myself. Godbless this shitposting American legend.

 

[DerelictOnion]

Imagine being so unbelievably boring that your Kiwifarms thread can't say anything interesting about you, and pivots to your worst enemy, the hot sauce salesman and Donkey Kong/Pacman legend himself.

Karl not only spectacularly failed his lawsuit, made the judge mad, overpaid his lawyers, ruined his public image, became a laughing stock overnight, got his most shameful secrets revealed for all to see, was forced to eat a massive humble pie and now has to pay his nemesis a large sum of money he might or might not have, he also improved Billy's public image, helped his business and gave him a resurgence.

I am honestly surprised he is still online instead of cutting off his Internet connection completely and going underground.

 

[Sharpeteer]

I am honestly surprised he is still online instead of cutting off his Internet connection completely and going underground.

As shit as his videos are looking back, he seems unqualified to do anything else that would pay a salary decent enough to fund his judgement. Going off the grid would likely be a bad idea.

 

[KarlJobber]

God damn, you guys got me craving that Ricky's Sauce

The problem is that he still hasn't realized this. He is delusional. Billy cheated on some vidya therefore he is literally Hitler. He is suffering just because he is a true and honest gaymer. That is how his gooner spedrunner mindset works. He only threw the towel because he is already dead broke.

The moron literally argued in court that Billy is not a "credible witness" because of cheating in video games. It doesn't work that way, Karl. You'd be laughed out the court by any judge (in probably any country) and he was!

Delusional is right but also he's waaaay lower IQ than any of us used to think. Not that I thought he was smart, but at least an average guy with autism. But no he's a brainless buffoon.

Buying the hot sauce from the site, I had a far lower order number than I would have expected, in the low thousands. While I’m excited to try it, with the way this thread was talking about it and how long it’s been offered I expected way more orders.

Some businesses reset order numbers at intervals like quarterly or whatever. So I wouldn't reliably say those are the sales numbers.

 

[AnOminous]

Like I said yesterday, if you want a tranny-protecting, blowhard, mentally broken, gooning, left-wing terminally online speedrunning type, you likely don't have to go very far to find any old faggot out there just like Karl in your area. He's so typical. Him losing a lawsuit is the ONLY interesting thing about him.

There's a reason we don't have much speedrunner content here. Speedrunning is boring shit for troons and they're usually boring people. They have to be absolute train wrecks in some other way to get a thread, like Narcisa.

Delusional is right but also he's waaaay lower IQ than any of us used to think. Not that I thought he was smart, but at least an average guy with autism. But no he's a brainless buffoon.

He's so dumb he thinks AI stands for "actual intelligence" and takes legal advice from it despite paying six figures to actual lawyers.

 

[neger psykolog]

Speedrunned 150 pages in less than a month.
Billy is THE absolute legend.

We actually had an official judging of a speedrunning KF lolcow thread and queen keffals the fart domme was the true & honest winner: https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lolcow-thread-from-page-0-100-speedrunning-world-record.217550/
(note: I disqualified everyone else who had a faster thread because its funnier that a tranny won this category. the official judgement is that they all lost because they used an unauthorized MAME cabinet and an 8 position dilator joystick)

 

[Gobermental Supervisor]

He's so dumb he thinks AI stands for "actual intelligence"

He thought it stands for "Asian Intelligence" and he married his wife to be in on the hype.

 

[Burger Kong]

There's a reason we don't have much speedrunner content here. Speedrunning is boring shit for troons and they're usually boring people.

Billy Mitchell has on multiple occasions said "hey guys I'm going to be at _____ come show up to see me make history with a world record high score" and then, the absolute mad man that he is, he actually did it in front of a big crowd under pressure first try. After accomplishing said feat he then stoically gives a thumbs up as if to say "yeah of course I did it I'm Billy Fucking Mitchell was there ever any doubt?".

Meanwhile Karl Jobst greatest accomplishment was getting a speedrun record on a very specific Goldeneye level after giving it probably thousands of attempts over the span of multiple years. And when he finally did it, he doesn't act like Mr Cool Billy Mitchel giving a thumbs up, he starts bawling his eyes out on stream as if he can't believe he actually did it and his dumpy Asian wife comes over to pat his head.

Looking at the two above pics side by side it's hilarious to think Karl is the one famous for having a case of yellow fever meanwhile Billy is the one pictured with 9 Japanese models each more attractive than Karl's wife.

 

[30+GameOvers]

You guys think Billy will cut him some slack if Karl does a sponsorship in his next video with Billy's hot sauce brand? There is a non-zero chance of this happening, depending on how bad his financial problems are right now.

 

[Son of Big Boss]

Stop slandering his wife, even if she is mid in the looks department, she seems like a good natured and nurturing woman. Her only fault was having bugged mate selection mechanics.

I feel bad for her tbh, a woman that affectionate deserved better.

 

[AnOminous]

I feel bad for her tbh, a woman that affectionate deserved better.

That's what I've been wondering. I mean she's not one of those Asian women who look like an underage anime character in her 30s but certainly she could do better than a blindingly autistic retard speedrunning a life ruin on both of them.