Nothing about the swinging is legally relevant or related, so I have felt free to draw every obvious conclusion

.
whoo...her ratchet thirsting is the opposite of cool*. This is the online version of kneeling in front of him, tears in her eyes, one last blow before goodbye.
* I know you mean cool in his eyes, as in eager, chipper, "loyal," appreciative, no matter what.
But this all feels more like she got pushed out and is coping with a little "you're going to miss this" and "I wish you well (
but call me, baby)."
Yep. But still available.
I more think a teary-eyed "I have to let you go...my family...my future...if only it had happened 20 years ago [
when you were 9]...starcrossed lovers...but I must save my family and my life [
and my parents will ground me AGAIN if I don't]...I don't want to let you go, but I must...fly, be free, butterfly...".
Because they are just that damned cheesy and clichéd.