Business Global IT outage live updates: Australian banks, airlines, media outlets taken offline - Bloody Bitch Bastard

There's a global outage of MicroSoft Windows machines currently, amusingly. This website is laid out in a very frustrating way, so I've included the main excerpts here:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-07...-microsoft-banks-airlines-australia/104119960 (archive)

There are reports of IT outages affecting major institutions in Australia and internationally.
The ABC is experiencing a major network outage, along with several other media outlets.
Crowd-sourced website Downdetector is listing outages for Foxtel, National Australia Bank and Bendigo Bank.

Like a number of other organisations, global issues affecting CrowdStrike and Microsoft are disrupting some of our systems.
The issue is causing some holdups for some of our customers and we thank them for their patience.
There is no impact to our fixed or mobile network which continue to operate.
Calls to our Triple Zero contact centres are not affected, but we understand some state emergency services are also impacted and we are working with them to implement backup processes.

CrowdStrike ran a recorded phone message on Friday saying it was aware of reports of crashes on Microsoft's Windows operating system relating to its Falcon sensor.
"Thanks for contacting CrowdStrike support. CrowdStrike is aware of reports of crashes on Windows … related to the Falcon sensor," a prerecorded message played when a Reuters reporter called the company's technical support.

University of Melbourne lecturer in cyber security Shaanan Cohney says there appear to be two separate things happening at once to cause the mass outages we are seeing.
The first issue, he says, appears to have been caused by a piece of software developed by a company called CrowdStrike.
"It's a computer security vendor that provides a monitoring service to large enterprises so they can see on computers within their control if there's any indications of suspicious activity or things that would require a security alert or to lock down the computer," Dr Cohney says.
"Because this software needs to see everything that is going on, it's very tightly integrated into the computer's software, so when you install it, it asks for a lot of permissions so that it can ask for everything going on on the computer.
"However, because it's in such a privileged position, if something goes wrong with it, if there's a programming mistake it has the capability to bring down the entire computer.
"If someone makes the wrong type of mistake it can bring the whole system down.
"As far as we can tell what it looks like happened with this piece of software is the company issued a significant update and something in the update went wrong.
"Engineers at the company and those outside are scrambling to try to pinpoint the source so they can try to pinpoint the problem so that's why companies are telling their employees to shut down their computer in order to prevent them from updating so those employees can maintain some minimal capabilities and have access to documents that are offline."
Reporting by Andi Yu

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Crowdstrike was the company that helped create the Russian interference narrative after the DNC got phished.

I hope this kills them completely.
So, that's why their name was so familiar. There's a maxim a couple people say in Kingdom Come: Deliverance that I think is quite applicable here: "The mills of God turn slowly but surely".

Mills of the God-Emperor in this instance, at least.
Sounds more like the issue is not controlling your own systems.

A key reason to use Linux. Unless you're retarded of course.
We already had someone post up about them fucking up Debian.

As to control, well, Crowdstrike is a kernel level "Fuck you" program. The only control is what it lets you have, and in this case that's nothing because the company used that kernel access to push an update past everyone's policies.

I can only hope people learn the value of exercising some level of local cont- BAH HA HA, nobody will learn jack shit from this.
 
Good 'ol Microsoft doing what it does best. Nice to see all those companies suffer who should have gotten the memo decades ago.
 
Trying not to think how the company is work for I probably is losing millions right now and my ass is going to be unemployed if it goes under…

Yeet a Jeet.
 
My boss is literally getting calls from clients right now asking us to come in and troubleshoot their systems (business/corporate side that goes up to the cloud) and we have to tell them we can't. Then we have to explain to them why they can't get to their client files and financial records.

2024 has truly been a landmark year for the harvest.
 
Talked to a few guys on patrol down in Lewiston, ID and they say that some of the ports computer are down but it being a mainly agricultural port doesn't really affect things for now.
 
My boss is literally getting calls from clients right now asking us to come in and troubleshoot their systems (business/corporate side that goes up to the cloud) and we have to tell them we can't. Then we have to explain to them why they can't get to their client files and financial records.

2024 has truly been a landmark year for the harvest.
This shit has made my day easy. Saving the bank for tomorrow, same with gas. I'm just assuming everything is fucking down until proven otherwise.
 
My hospital is back to the modern age. IT jeets had to visit every computer and delete the update in System32.
 
I hate techtroons, I hate coders, I hate all this gayass cloud always online, regular update, faggot driven, pajeet infested, troon enabled, jew funded shit.
I hope 41% turns to 101%.
And you know who's truly responsible?
Modi, the Indian president. He's responsible for IT being infested by pajeets (not that it was much better before, when it was white troons and fags, but at least it worked back then).
 
Fucking Indias airports are handwriting boarding passes.
I'm actually kinda impressed they can keep things moving like this. It sounds like the more civilized nations are just shutting down their airports completely instead of lowering themselves to pen and paper.

Every single machine had a ‘do not operate while unattended’ notice on it somewhere.
I pointed this out and felt a bit mean, wasn’t his fault, but still. I dont want fucking WiFi enabled house gadgets.
It boggles my mind anybody would want a washer or dryer to run unattended unless it's a Speed Queen at a laundromat. If a hose comes loose or a fixture snaps off you've at least got some chance of reducing the flooding if you're home to hear it happening. Set your washer going and leave for work? You want to come home to a swimming pool surrounding your washer? Nah.

It was me, I did it, I had to kickstart the cyber pandemic because my boss klaus schwabby told me to
Bravo, sir. And if I get fresh footage of airport freakouts from this happening, I will salute you forever.
 
Will this finally end the "Update! Update! It'd a .00001 version update! We gotta update!!!" Meme?
Every damn application and software anytime you open it.
 
Is it happening, did it never even begin, or is it over can someone give me a QRD?
Pajeet pushes an update and forgets about the pajeet code. Fucks everything up. He cries and eats curry before shitting out a massive wave of liquid diarrhea while everyone screams at him. Shit will be back up to full on Monday.
 
and they want to go to other planets with humans... "Your oxygen system is currently offline, please bear with us as we work to remedy this problem. We appreciate your patience in this matter. Thank you for choosing Microsoft Oxygen Services, protected by CrowdSrike."
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
To all the smug Linux users, Crowdstrike had a similar issue affecting Linux machines a few months ago:
Eh, I'm still gonna shit on this.

Stuff like this happens far less frequently on Linux, is not nearly as crippling when it does, and is generally more easily remediated. In fact, I find it bizarre that they'd be running Crowdstrike or anything like it on Linux systems in the first place. They are far easier to secure and monitor for unauthorized changes than Windows systems. It seems like slapping Crowdstrike on Linux boxes is a lazy cop-out.
 
Eh, I'm still gonna shit on this.

Stuff like this happens far less frequently on Linux, is not nearly as crippling when it does, and is generally more easily remediated. In fact, I find it bizarre that they'd be running Crowdstrike or anything like it on Linux systems in the first place. They are far easier to secure and monitor for unauthorized changes than Windows systems. It seems like slapping Crowdstrike on Linux boxes is a lazy cop-out.
It's less a lazy copout and more some retard middle manager screaming about what do you MEAN our servers don't have anti-virus on them!? Every computer HAS to have anti-virus! Quick, somebody call John Norton himself and buy 500 licenses!
 
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