Business Global IT outage live updates: Australian banks, airlines, media outlets taken offline - Bloody Bitch Bastard

There's a global outage of MicroSoft Windows machines currently, amusingly. This website is laid out in a very frustrating way, so I've included the main excerpts here:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2024-07...-microsoft-banks-airlines-australia/104119960 (archive)

There are reports of IT outages affecting major institutions in Australia and internationally.
The ABC is experiencing a major network outage, along with several other media outlets.
Crowd-sourced website Downdetector is listing outages for Foxtel, National Australia Bank and Bendigo Bank.

Like a number of other organisations, global issues affecting CrowdStrike and Microsoft are disrupting some of our systems.
The issue is causing some holdups for some of our customers and we thank them for their patience.
There is no impact to our fixed or mobile network which continue to operate.
Calls to our Triple Zero contact centres are not affected, but we understand some state emergency services are also impacted and we are working with them to implement backup processes.

CrowdStrike ran a recorded phone message on Friday saying it was aware of reports of crashes on Microsoft's Windows operating system relating to its Falcon sensor.
"Thanks for contacting CrowdStrike support. CrowdStrike is aware of reports of crashes on Windows … related to the Falcon sensor," a prerecorded message played when a Reuters reporter called the company's technical support.

University of Melbourne lecturer in cyber security Shaanan Cohney says there appear to be two separate things happening at once to cause the mass outages we are seeing.
The first issue, he says, appears to have been caused by a piece of software developed by a company called CrowdStrike.
"It's a computer security vendor that provides a monitoring service to large enterprises so they can see on computers within their control if there's any indications of suspicious activity or things that would require a security alert or to lock down the computer," Dr Cohney says.
"Because this software needs to see everything that is going on, it's very tightly integrated into the computer's software, so when you install it, it asks for a lot of permissions so that it can ask for everything going on on the computer.
"However, because it's in such a privileged position, if something goes wrong with it, if there's a programming mistake it has the capability to bring down the entire computer.
"If someone makes the wrong type of mistake it can bring the whole system down.
"As far as we can tell what it looks like happened with this piece of software is the company issued a significant update and something in the update went wrong.
"Engineers at the company and those outside are scrambling to try to pinpoint the source so they can try to pinpoint the problem so that's why companies are telling their employees to shut down their computer in order to prevent them from updating so those employees can maintain some minimal capabilities and have access to documents that are offline."
Reporting by Andi Yu

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All the computers in my hospital use Windows and CrowdStrike Falcon. Guess I'm going old school and writing paper orders today. I just hope IT didn't run the update.
A colleague told me some shit linked to medical imaging cloud storage went bust and they're not able to do anything remotely.
I wonder how many people died from Microsoft's shitty code today. Imagine getting scheduled to some surgery just for the people to say "welp sorry, our system is more dead than you are, come back tomorrow".

Sucks to be Boogie2988. If this happened when he was doing those streams, he could have legitimately lied about the portals being down due to this fiasco. It'll be hard to prove otherwise.
 
gotta love all the facebook comments im seeing that dont reconise that global means that their area is also affected
 
Ah sweet. A "reminder-that-our-technical-infrastructure-operates-on-the-edge-of-a-knife-and-is-fragile-enough-to-break-absolutely-everything-over-a-single-fuck-up" thread
If we lived in a competent society, companies would go out of business and people would learn from the mistakes that caused it. Like using windows at all, and having some third party vendor have a back door every machine begging for a supply chain attack, or fuck up like this one.

But no. Outdated farm equipment in America is still the white mans burden and the wrong side won WW2. Early jew infections can be ignored but once the weimar and DEI set in, you get this.

It’s only going to get worse.
 
Awareness - Virtual Machines
Same shit on AWS EC2 and GCP because for some stupid reason none of these big public clouds give you actual graphical console access to the server, just serial port. If you have EMS and SAC enabled you may be able to recover via safe mode but I haven't tried this and I know Windows Recovery does not work via serial based on prior experience.
 
But no. Outdated farm equipment in America is still the white mans burden and the wrong side won WW2. Early jew infections can be ignored but once the weimar and DEI set in, you get this.
Shitty Microsoft code causes outage, niggers, kikes and shitskins to blame, praise Hitler.
Welcome to A&H.
 
ClownStrike CEO assures us the unprecedented global outage is NOT a security incident or cyberattack

Wyświetl załącznik 6208761
I mean, it never ever is until they can't deny it any longer.

But I do not think this was a cyber attack or done with any malicious intent, I think it was merely someone being lazy or underqualified but somehow has been cruising along until disaster strikes.
 
Nigger CEO hoping people are unable to parse IT speak. A fucky wucky in the shit you push is a security issue; I don't care how you want to try and dance around the issue, if you push shit into production and you take out this much infrastructure, you have a fucking problem. Maybe this is just me, but trust is a security issue; even if this is a fucking oopsie by one of your Pajeets and not a glow op, no one should trust you to do shit right. Because okay, you fucking take out half the world with this update; when can we expect one of your retarded code monkeys to put ransomware into your product?
 
I mean, it never ever is until they can't deny it any longer.

But I do not think this was a cyber attack or done with any malicious intent, I think it was merely someone being lazy or underqualified but somehow has been cruising along until disaster strikes.
Surely "we're just incompetent" is worse than "some large scale malicious actor did something".

Yeah, they're a security company but nothing is impenetrable and it looks like it tanked it anyway so that could be spun into a win.

Whereas "we fucked everything up" doesn't exactly make you trust them.
 
I wonder how many seconds for the idiot that did this for security to show at his desk..
 
Surely "we're just incompetent" is worse than "some large scale malicious actor did something".

Yeah, they're a security company but nothing is impenetrable and it looks like it tanked it anyway so that could be spun into a win.

Whereas "we fucked everything up" doesn't exactly make you trust them.
I totally agree that it is worse than it being done purposefully.

The IT and Cybersecurity industry is overflowing with incompetent autists and I'm waiting for it to truly blow up in our faces, and honestly shocked it has not happened on an unfixable scale just yet.
 
Not defending Microcock here, but every machine not running Crowdstrike is unaffected. The crux of the issue is that a third-party software is fucking with the kernel (it's cybersec, so it's granted) and has a good chunk of the market share. The market share for Crowdstrike was 18.5% in Q2 2023. (archive)
The second fiscal quarter of 2024 recently ended, so I'm just rounding the numbers here to about ~20%. That means a fifth of the global Windows systems, which use this software are currently fucked and the damages are astronomical already. There are workarounds to fix this issue, but it's already too late. I don't think that Crowdstrike will survive this disaster in the long run.

Now imagine Riot fucking up Vanguard (kernel level anti-cheat rootkit software) at this magnitude. It would be funny, not horrifying like this case. It would only affect retards playing Riot's shit games and not crucial infrastructure.
 
Ostatnio edytowane:
Supposedly, I read that someone's smart fridge isn't working because of this. It could be a joke/meme referencing that water dispenser update from a few years back.
Imagine buying a wifi-connected IOT fucking fridge.
In this case, they deserved it. Enjoy rotten food.
 
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