FB 1/27: Thanks State Farm, Moar Money Plz

[Picklechu]

No, I think you can't have more than 2k worth of savings anywhere, this information is easily accessible by Uncle Sam for any account you might have in any banks, I think. Hiding cash in a mattress on the other hand, is a good way to hide it from Uncle Sam but not the best way to save. If I were trying to hide money from the government, I'd invest in gold, or silver, and hide that.

Or invest your money in priceless works of art, such as Dali paintings.

 

[Spaghetti_Eater]

Same reason some women fall in love with convicted murders, they are batshit insane with daddy issues

Or he has a big dick. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

If Chris's hooker was TRUE and HONEST about his duck, then Chris would probably be getting a little more than just a fleshlight or blowup doll fuckery. Therefore proving that, with this logic, not even his dick can save him because it is too small and deformed. Chris has no appeal to da ladies.

 

[CWCissey]

Same reason some women fall in love with convicted murders, they are batshit insane with daddy issues

Or he has a big dick. Sometimes it's as simple as that.

If Chris's hooker was TRUE and HONEST about his duck, then Chris would probably be getting a little more than just a fleshlight or blowup doll fuckery. Therefore proving that, with this logic, not even his dick can save him. Chris has no appeal to da ladies.

We've all seen Chris' dick. We know that definitely won't swing him any favours from da laydeez.

 

[Donald Duck]

After Barb dies, Christian like a butterfly might just emerge from his autistic cocoon as the fattest, smelliest hobo in the C-ville area.

I'm of the opinion that Post-Barb Chris could go one of three ways:

• Fat, greasy hobo, like you suggested
• Fat, greasy mental patient
• Fat, greasy prison inmate/prag

Personally my money's on mental patient.

Although he might not be fat if he becomes a hobo. FOOD IS EXPENSIVE!

 

[Furina]

After Barb dies, Christian like a butterfly might just emerge from his autistic cocoon as the fattest, smelliest hobo in the C-ville area.

I'm of the opinion that Post-Barb Chris could go one of three ways:

• Fat, greasy hobo, like you suggested
• Fat, greasy mental patient
• Fat, greasy prison inmate/prag

Personally my money's on mental patient.

Although he might not be fat if he becomes a hobo. FOOD IS EXPENSIVE!

Not to mention all those JERKS eating all the nice food and leaving him with NONE TO CHOOSE FROM!!! Chris is too picky to be a hobo. He wouldn't last one winter assuming he doesn't get forced into a hobo deathmatch. Not that I know anything about hobo deathmatches...

I think the most likely outcome is Chris finds a small, government sponsered apartment in a shady part of town where he lives out the rest of his depressing little life surrounding himself with a new fantasy world.

 

[Smokedaddy]

He would then have to blow all that on vidya. SSDI is not meant to be saved/hoarded, you're not supposed to have more than 2,000 in your account at any given time. SSDI is meant to help with living expenses, and if someone is not spending that money, Uncle Sam will assume they have another source of income, are living rent-free, or whatever.

What if someone's monthly tugboat is more than $2000?

 

[Batman]

He would then have to blow all that on vidya. SSDI is not meant to be saved/hoarded, you're not supposed to have more than 2,000 in your account at any given time. SSDI is meant to help with living expenses, and if someone is not spending that money, Uncle Sam will assume they have another source of income, are living rent-free, or whatever.

What if someone's monthly tugboat is more than $2000?

I don't think that would be likely.

Not exactly what I was asking, but...

3. He has a wife, and has stayed married for a long time.

This. Why does she support a man who only works two hours a day? What does he have to offer?

Well, people have already suggested big dick, so I'm going to suggest that maybe, just maybe, he's a really good person. There's more to life than money, some of the richest men in the world can't hold down marriages.

 

[Smokedaddy]

He would then have to blow all that on vidya. SSDI is not meant to be saved/hoarded, you're not supposed to have more than 2,000 in your account at any given time. SSDI is meant to help with living expenses, and if someone is not spending that money, Uncle Sam will assume they have another source of income, are living rent-free, or whatever.

What if someone's monthly tugboat is more than $2000?

I don't think that would be likely.

I do.

 

[deeman]

My theory about whiteknights... They are so fucking stupid, they fail to se that Chris is the bad guy in his lifestory. CatParty... are you with me? ]P ]P ]P ]P ]P ]P ]P ]P ]P

 

[Smutley]

What if someone's monthly tugboat is more than $2000?

I don't think that would be likely.

I do.

"Most SSDI recipients receive between $300 and $2,200. The average SSDI payment in 2014 is $1,148. The maximum disability benefit in 2014 is $2,642."

http://www.disabilitysecrets.com/how-much-in-ssd.html

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Chris really should have gotten into worse trouble for that one....

This statement can be applied to just about any Christorical event.
His ability to slip through the cracks is simultaneously both aggravating and fascinating.

 

[CWCissey]

Chris really should have gotten into worse trouble for that one....

This statement can be applied to just about any Christorical event.
His ability to slip through the cracks is simultaneously both aggravating and fascinating.

Blame Social Justice Warriors who will start bitching if you even suggest that those with disabilities can be arseholes too.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

SJW's would likely say Chris is "differently abled" and needs to find his own place in society and not conform to how people think he should live.

However, when the SJW's learned of his views on women, gays and black people, they'd say he's a jerk.

 

[Anchuent Christory]

Chris really should have gotten into worse trouble for that one....

This statement can be applied to just about any Christorical event.
His ability to slip through the cracks is simultaneously both aggravating and fascinating.

Blame Social Justice Warriors who will start bitching if you even suggest that those with disabilities can be arseholes too.

I'd say it's down to the fact that anybody who ultimately ends up having to make any decisions regarding him only have to put up with him for a few minutes, and anybody who has a genuine grievance with him has been exposed to his full unpleasant personality.

 

[drmccoy]

I know a guy, he's almost 44 and has been a 2 hour/day janitor at a big box sporting goods store for something like 12 years. Before that he was unemployed save for odd jobs from his AA buddies. Like Chris, his entire world happened from 1989-1992 when he was in the Navy. They kicked him out because he was too dumb to actually do his job. He was essentially a plane cleaner, checking the tires and wiping the windshield. He is Chris, if Chris would get off his fat ass and do something. I mean, this guy basically is one step above but he scored Chris's dream: a caretaker-wife. He married a women 6 or 7 years older with a decent job. He can and does sit on his ass, watch cat videos and TV while she works. He can go to his 2hr/day job to clean bathrooms and live the dream. His latest ambition in life: work at Starbucks. It was a big move for him judging from his Facebook. He didn't get the job though.

She's bought him all manner of toys too.

Sorry for derailing the thread, but I want to hear more about this guy. What is his saving grace?

LOL, I have absolutely no idea. The guy is a loser who somehow scammed a comfortable gig with a women who works and makes decent money for what she does. When I met him in 2002 he hadn't pulled a regular job in something like a decade. Just odd jobs here and there. He lived in Alaska for a year chopping wood in return for a place to live. He sure as hell wasn't working when I met him. He tried going to school but would sleep all day and miss all his classes, resulting in his flunking out. Twice.

He's also really, really weird. Like Chris he would have anger episodes that would result in hilarious scenes. Like the time he drank 24 Ginger Beers in a row and freaked out. Or the time he threw an ax near a pregnant women because he was pissed off that another friend asked him to do something. His entire frame of reference is the 3 and half years he spent in California wiping windshields on planes. He's really socially inept as well. He thinks he's English when he was actually born in a shitty small little town in the midwest.

Like I said, he's living Chris's dream. A dream of utter mediocrity but with a marriage to a women who supports and coddles him. If Barb hadn't coddled Chris into uselessness, he could have possibly did the same thing.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

I guess in America, everybody gets something they want eventually no matter how shitty they are. Back in Vietnam, it's either you work hard to live and even have a family or be lazy and die in poverty. I always thought Chris will be homeless but it seems that he probably won't and will have a roof over his head and vidya throughout his life and if lucky, have a caretaker wife. Sure I'm in college and have a job but I still don't think it's fair that some people like that stupid 40 something year old man gets to have a caretaker wife whereas the poor in Vietnam lives in slums yet work harder than him yet for less money. Maybe I'm lucky to live in America but I don't know. It just surprises me that a loser can live a dream of a sheltered life in America because we don't have that in Vietnam.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I guess in America, everybody gets something they want eventually no matter how shitty they are. Back in Vietnam, it's either you work hard to live and even have a family or be lazy and die in poverty. I always thought Chris will be homeless but it seems that he probably won't and will have a roof over his head and vidya throughout his life and if lucky, have a caretaker wife. Sure I'm in college and have a job but I still don't think it's fair that some people like that stupid 40 something year old man gets to have a caretaker wife whereas the poor in Vietnam lives in slums yet work harder than him yet for less money. Maybe I'm lucky to live in America but I don't know. It just surprises me that a loser can live a dream of a sheltered life in America because we don't have that in Vietnam.

If it makes you feel better... the "dream" he's pursued his whole life has turned out to be completely empty. Chris is horribly depressed every waking moment, he lived in a shitpile til it burned down, now he's in a temporary residence which his meemaw will soon turn into a new shitpile because he's too much of a pussy to stand up to her. And he will never have a caretaker wife. Chris is going to live and die completely alone once Barb is gone.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

I guess in America, everybody gets something they want eventually no matter how shitty they are. Back in Vietnam, it's either you work hard to live and even have a family or be lazy and die in poverty. I always thought Chris will be homeless but it seems that he probably won't and will have a roof over his head and vidya throughout his life and if lucky, have a caretaker wife. Sure I'm in college and have a job but I still don't think it's fair that some people like that stupid 40 something year old man gets to have a caretaker wife whereas the poor in Vietnam lives in slums yet work harder than him yet for less money. Maybe I'm lucky to live in America but I don't know. It just surprises me that a loser can live a dream of a sheltered life in America because we don't have that in Vietnam.

If it makes you feel better... the "dream" he's pursued his whole life has turned out to be completely empty. Chris is horribly depressed every waking moment, he lived in a shitpile til it burned down, now he's in a temporary residence which his meemaw will soon turn into a new shitpile because he's too much of a pussy to stand up to her. And he will never have a caretaker wife. Chris is going to live and die completely alone once Barb is gone.

But some people here seemed to speculate that Chris will die alone with a roof over his head. Sure he's lonely and stuff but someone mentioned that the government may relocate him to an apartment in a shady part of town for him to live in. That apartment is probably a lot better than the slums in Vietnam so I pictured Chris playing vidya as he wastes away alone in depression. Point is that he might at least have some kind of free housing and still play vidya. He probably won't die homeless let alone die in an institution. If he dies alone in a home, at least by my standards, he would have died with dignity since he wouldn't have died homeless.

 

[drmccoy]

I guess in America, everybody gets something they want eventually no matter how shitty they are. Back in Vietnam, it's either you work hard to live and even have a family or be lazy and die in poverty. I always thought Chris will be homeless but it seems that he probably won't and will have a roof over his head and vidya throughout his life and if lucky, have a caretaker wife. Sure I'm in college and have a job but I still don't think it's fair that some people like that stupid 40 something year old man gets to have a caretaker wife whereas the poor in Vietnam lives in slums yet work harder than him yet for less money. Maybe I'm lucky to live in America but I don't know. It just surprises me that a loser can live a dream of a sheltered life in America because we don't have that in Vietnam.

If it makes you feel better... the "dream" he's pursued his whole life has turned out to be completely empty. Chris is horribly depressed every waking moment, he lived in a shitpile til it burned down, now he's in a temporary residence which his meemaw will soon turn into a new shitpile because he's too much of a pussy to stand up to her. And he will never have a caretaker wife. Chris is going to live and die completely alone once Barb is gone.

I wonder how much State Farm will love them after Hoardzilla fucks up the nice rental they're in. And she will.

 

[garbageraider]

I guess in America, everybody gets something they want eventually no matter how shitty they are. Back in Vietnam, it's either you work hard to live and even have a family or be lazy and die in poverty. I always thought Chris will be homeless but it seems that he probably won't and will have a roof over his head and vidya throughout his life and if lucky, have a caretaker wife. Sure I'm in college and have a job but I still don't think it's fair that some people like that stupid 40 something year old man gets to have a caretaker wife whereas the poor in Vietnam lives in slums yet work harder than him yet for less money. Maybe I'm lucky to live in America but I don't know. It just surprises me that a loser can live a dream of a sheltered life in America because we don't have that in Vietnam.

It's not fair that there are hardworking people around the world that live in poverty while some in America live in comfort, but that's how it is.
The United States is a very affluent nation overall, compared to most of the world.