- Dołączono
- 16 Sty 2017
It means paint balloons IN SPAAAAACE.
💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter
- Twórca wątku Caverlock
- Data rozpoczęcia
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🔎 Please read my article, How to Dox Anyone: A Liz Fong-Jones Story. (Xitter), (Substack).
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- Dołączono
- 6 Paź 2021
Yeah anything over 10K you have to file an 8300 with the IRS. If its not between accounts that usually move large amounts I think the limit for an automatic review is 17K, it used to be less but it went up this year. 32K will always trip an automatic review, Banks don't like people moving large amounts of money in case its being used for illegal activities.
I don't move anywhere near that amount regularly but when we've been paid for large contracts its always taken a few days to go through.
I know this is a joke but you've absolutely nailed the early 20th Century Pulp feel there.
No joke I'm a huge fan of that shit I collect old Weird Tales magazines, that would fit right in with Lovecraft or Bellknap Long.
You've got a better grasp of writing than Pat thats for damn sure.
Ostatnio edytowane przez moderatora:
- Dołączono
- 31 Maj 2021
At the 44:00 minute mark Fatrick and Niki allege that Pests have set up dating site profiles of Niki and told strange men to come and rape her, due to her having a rape fantasy.
Is that them telling porkies again?
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 17 Mar 2023
Chapter 18 of The Ark, the only sci-fi mystery novel worth as much as a snicker's bar, swooping by.
i put it in the summary but i'm gonna put it here too: this one was a fucking slog. chapter 18 is about 5400 words long so that's at least 10 pages and you better believe fatrick put a lot of extra padding here. i also posit that he forgot what his characters were supposed to sound like. these issues (as well as the usual fucking fundamental error that nobody edited out) are leading me to believe he had to frantically wedge in a shitload of text to reach novel status so that he could "earn" himself the coveted title of author.
i said before i didn't think it could get any worse, but if it turns out that he was rushing to write plain crap just to meet a word count then i will consider that to be getting worse.
in Chapter 18, we find out whose DNA was under Laraby's fingernails and confront them. excitement abounds, as well as many twists and turns that you never saw coming! the suspense!
Chapter 1 | Tor Link | Page 2014
Chapter 2 & 3 | Tor Link | Page 2018
Chapter 4 | Tor Link | Page 2033
Chapter 5, 6, 7 | Tor Link | Page 2046
Chapter 8 | Tor Link | Page 2051
Chapter 9-13 | Tor Link | Page 2079
Chapter 14 | Tor Link | Page 2110
Chapter 15-17 | Tor Link | Page 2120
i put it in the summary but i'm gonna put it here too: this one was a fucking slog. chapter 18 is about 5400 words long so that's at least 10 pages and you better believe fatrick put a lot of extra padding here. i also posit that he forgot what his characters were supposed to sound like. these issues (as well as the usual fucking fundamental error that nobody edited out) are leading me to believe he had to frantically wedge in a shitload of text to reach novel status so that he could "earn" himself the coveted title of author.
i said before i didn't think it could get any worse, but if it turns out that he was rushing to write plain crap just to meet a word count then i will consider that to be getting worse.
in Chapter 18, we find out whose DNA was under Laraby's fingernails and confront them. excitement abounds, as well as many twists and turns that you never saw coming! the suspense!
Chapter 1 | Tor Link | Page 2014
Chapter 2 & 3 | Tor Link | Page 2018
Chapter 4 | Tor Link | Page 2033
Chapter 5, 6, 7 | Tor Link | Page 2046
Chapter 8 | Tor Link | Page 2051
Chapter 9-13 | Tor Link | Page 2079
Chapter 14 | Tor Link | Page 2110
Chapter 15-17 | Tor Link | Page 2120
==Characters Introduced in Order of Appearance; Character Status==
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson. Inherited stolen artwork from his criminal dad.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3. Is probably the mastermind of the conspiracy.
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Theresa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely not a Sikh.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art. Possibly a facsimile of Patrick's mother.
Constable Pavel Korolev,
Theresa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass. A true comrade.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark. Dreams about touching Benson's athletic body.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African womanboss.
Sahni,
Another nondescript *Zero Finals* player lol. Still noting her just in case they become relevant.
Madison Atwood,
Bryan Benson's PE Teacher; works as a constable in Chinatown. Didn't make an appearance when Chao Feng was arrested for some reason.
Magistrate Jindal,
A judge that appears to have a perverse desire to do his job properly.
Duty Officer Hernandez,
Another constable belonging to Benson's cadre. Raised concerns about Benson being a nepotist.
Celine DiMaggio,
An art thief. Has Alzheimer's in the future where such diseases should have been wiped out.
Lefty, or Huang
A Japanese(?) man living underground and off the radar.
Mei,
One of the vagrant *Unbound*.
Agong, or David Kimura
Elder of the Japanese vagrants living off the radar on the Ark. Name means 'Grandfather' in Mandarin; was thought to have died of a heart attack after joining the Ark's council.
Mao,
Leader of a splinter group of *the Unbound*. The new lead suspect in the murder investigation.
Barta,
An Ensign on the Ark's Crew. Likes getting in people's way. Probably plays SWAT 4 a lot.
--E1: After a truly terrible outing in the Ark's sublevel, Benson's returning to the station to find out who killed Edmond Laraby, courtesy of Dr. Jeanine Russell's inspection/autopsy. The part in Red here kind of annoyed me but I'm not able to articulate why. Anyone who has followed along a few chapters will probably understand.
More meandering; didn't read much of it, both times, but this is so far the longest chapter in the book at about 5400 words. Let your eyes glaze over like mine because we're nearly two-thirds through this dross. Upon retrospect, the bits I highlighted in Blue and Purple are hardly germane... but the highlight in Red is. Yet another gross error somehow nobody caught before publishing.
Benson informs Theresa that David Kimura lives, which may be relevant later, but I'm really just trying to find something to justify the fact 90% of this chapter has been padding so far.
--E2: Before I get to what we've been dying to see (you can see it for yourself at the bottom of the pic, and it will not come as a surprise to anyone), we get the most abrupt soapboxing from Bryan Benson on Laraby's death, and I wish I could show an example of the face I made whilst reading this.
There are 30 chapters in this book. We are on Chapter 18, out of 20. We still do not have a motive for Dr. Laraby's murder (let alone a fucking GUESS as to one), and now, of all times, and after both Benson and Theresa fucked like rabbits in his bed multiple times since his death, the victim of the case is being given some kind of mourning here, a little respect in his passing. This is painfully disingenuous. Bryan Benson blurts out that he "sees himself in Edmond", an only kid with old parents who had to bust ass to get to where he was.
Also, "literally trying to...", "literally", Benson's entire speech pattern changes for no good reason. Oh, just to harp on this a bit more, Edmond Laraby didn't sweat nearly as much as Benson did. Our victim went to school and graduated, sure, but until Director Avelina da Silva championed him/vouched for him, he was nobody and would have remained a nobody because he was an autist who put all his eggs in one special project that da Silva fucking told us was otherwise doomed. Laraby got LUCKY. So did Benson, to be fair, but Benson has actually worked for a living, with his only break coming from a chance meeting with a *Zero Finals* coach to kickstart his life.
After a tinfoil hat moment, and after all of the retarded build-up suggesting Benson was going to read the fucking tablet and we the audience would experience this massive revelation alongside him, Theresa flat-out tells us that **Chao Feng's skin and blood cells were found under Laraby's fingernails, incriminating him in the murder case.**
Benson isn't surprised by this. Weird, but neither was I, because Chao Feng was guilty as fuck and never should have been released in the first place. Bryan resolves to Theresa that he's going to finish this fight, Master Chief style.
--E3: Movement is good and I like movement in a story. Detective Benson yanks Constable Korolev out of bed to assist him in the confrontation with the Ark's Crew. With Devorah probably bowing out of the story at this point I need someone to appreciate and this plucky bastard might just be the real hero of the story by the end.
Anyway, Benson gets an instant warrant from Magistrate Boswell, whom we still have not ever encountered so I don't even know why he has a name, and we're heading to the Bridge. Chao Feng's on duty right now and he's about to have a real bad day. Like me, because I had to read another *Zero Finals* reference.
This whole sequence with a Crewman holding up Benson is probably another attempt at humor by Patrick or a way to wank off the male character as he's about to lay down the law. I damn it as padding and move on.
Benson and Korolev enter the Bridge; Benson squares off with Captain Mahama and browbeats her and she talks some mad shit in return. I don't like how any of this dialogue is written and I'm starting to feel like Patrick misplaced his characters' voices.
Our protagonist makes it clear that he has a warrant and new charges, as well as evidence placing Commander Chao Feng (commander now? what the fuck?) in an altercation with Laraby prior to his death. There's an unnecessary pissing contest here. The last part highlighted in purple is probably what Patrick wishes he could have done to the Onaforums after doxing them all through the courts.
--E4: PaddingPaddingPaddingPaddingPadding. What's important is that we get to the conference room with Mahama and Chao Feng, and we get a dumbass reference to the Salem Witch Trials. Here's my reaction to that. This is a schoolyard and Mahama is the tired, pissed off principal who doesn't want to be here but has to mediate between two dipshit kids and their peurile shenanigans.
Mahama puts her foot down and declares that she is going to subject Feng to a BILD (Brain Imaging Lie Detection) scan. We'll find out what that is in a second, but first she dismisses Korolev for a little extra padding. A BILD scan is basically a lie detector test that works because the device required is already implanted in your fucking brain so there's less chance of tricking it. There's some sudden worldbuilding here that should matter but, well, you know... Patrick Tomlinson. Benson even says that the Ark's laws are based on the original UN Charter, so I must assume that the Ark's Treaty mentioned a while back is, lmao, the fucking UN Charter. Christ. Mahama does a 'lol, lmao' when she drops that they've improved the tech since then. After all this shit, Feng is thrown to the gigasaurus.
The first interrogation of our first real suspect begins at Page 110 out of 188 (according to my reader). Mahama walks Benson through the use of the BILD process and the detective takes over. It's hard to tell if Feng's sweating bullets because of the effect of the BILD procedure or he realizes how fucked he is. I don't know why I'm wondering about that.
First things first... Feng denies giving Edmond Laraby the Monet Haystacks painting from his father's illicit collection. The lie detector determined, that was a Lie.
Benson asks Feng if he arranged for Edmond to be assigned to that luxury home - Feng answers Yes, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth. Benson asks why he set him up with sweet digs, but Mahama interjects and urges him to keep the questions to a yes-or-no kind.
Benson asks Feng if he altered Edmond Laraby's personal files before they reached his desk - Feng answers Yes, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he murdered Edmond Laraby - Feng, vehemently, answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he conspired to murder Edmond Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he hired someone to murder Edmond Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he sent the assassin who attacked him after Laraby's body was recovered - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Our protagonist gets frazzled and annoyed by this, snarking at Mahama that the machine may need recalibration. The captain issues a rebuttal, stating that he's simply not getting the answers he expected.
Benson asks Feng if he altered the recordings of the airlocks prior to the disposal of Laraby's corpse - Feng answers No and insists Laraby committed Suicide, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
We're at an impasse here.
Tension rises as Benson gets more direct, asking Feng how it could be a suicide: Laraby threw himself out the airlock then erased the video from space? Bullshit, Commander! Feng doesn't have a response to this, and the BILD process throws an error message that not even Mahama understands fully. Turns out that Feng is experiencing cognitive dissonance and that Benson's questions are confusing him. Hmm.
Benson asks Feng if he truly believes that Laraby committed suicide - Feng answers Yes, and the lie detector determined, he's telling the Truth.
Benson then hits Feng with a harder question: why did Feng alter Laraby's files before they were turned over? No answer.
Benson asks Feng if he was being blackmailed by Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, he's telling the Truth.
Pissed off and deadlocked, Benson fires his first real shot by hitting both Feng and Mahama with the evidence he's got: Feng's DNA was found on Laraby's remains. Both Mahama and Feng are gormless... and the captain demands an answer right fuckin' now.
--E5: Aaaaaaand another shoe has officially dropped.
As Benson turns up the heat, Feng can't stand it anymore, and smacks us all in the face with the biggest of big truths: **Chao Feng and Edmond Laraby were lovers,** explaining why Feng's DNA was on Laraby's remains. Oh, and the lie detector determined, Feng's telling the Truth: He altered Laraby's files to erase any mention of their relationship.
I don't have anything to add to this scene that isn't already being marched out before your eyes, but Patrick, being a parrot for left-wing ideology, is virtue signaling really hard with this one and I fucking disdain this reveal on so many levels. If we hadn't already had a bunch of other mega-retarded events occur, on top of statutory rape, I could probably go on an angry rant here about how implausible this horseshit is.
Fortunately, Benson fills in for me.
Benson is rightfully indignant. This motherfucker, at this monumentally critical juncture in human history, obstructed a murder investigation over many long days just so he could stay in the closet. It really calls into question just how much affection there was in their relationship when he assumed Laraby fucking killed himself. Benson says it for me: being Gay is perfectly acceptable in the Ark's society. This is a shitty twist, and it reeks of the author trying to appeal to the LGBT, which is ironic, because if this is meant to inclusively represent the Gays (and it is, because it's Patrick S. Tomlinson), it's a bitter, negative framing that makes them appear to be selfish to a malicious degree. Not to mention, destructive.
But enough of this.
--E6: Benson's still pissed and demands that Mahama run the rest of the Crew through the BILD process, which I tentatively agree is ridiculous but her own reactions (specifically, caring about due process when she twiddles her moustache like a tinpot tyrant several times) piss me off so I end up siding with Benson because we've already crossed several lines and quite possibly committed a few war crimes so what's another inhumanity?
Benson reneges, salutes, and prepares to leave... but something unexpected happens. The lights go out, the room goes dark - emergency lights and sirens scream to life. Something big is happening...
And it's gonna have to wait.
Bryan Benson,
A police(?) detective and our leading man, a gigasaurus who loves sports and evading responsibility, possibly taxation too.
Chao Feng,
The First Officer (of what?), and a douchedrinker according to Benson. Inherited stolen artwork from his criminal dad.
Lau,
The captain of Patrick's favorite Chinese sports team.
Edmond Laraby,
The missing geneticist whom the plot revolved around, found dead and dumped in space.
Avelina Pereira da Silva,
Science Director; Head of Environmental Research & Development. Got her full name in Chapter 3. Is probably the mastermind of the conspiracy.
Vasquez,
Not to be confused with Vasquez from Aliens; a player in Patrick's favorite sports game.
Lindqvist,
A sports player not even worthy of description by Patrick. Must be a PCJ caricature.
Theresa Alexopolous,
A lieutenant, and a Duty Officer (of what?), sidekick to the Chad Bryan Benson.
Vikram Bahadur,
Chief Constable of the Chinatown District, on par with Bryan Benson. Definitely not a Sikh.
Nibiru,
Not a character, but a black hole on the edge of a solar system. Probably the best character, though, if it's anything like Black Hole Sun.
Devorah Feynman,
Curator of the Museum, wants to preserve humanity's culture by locating and securing authentic works of art. Possibly a facsimile of Patrick's mother.
Constable Pavel Korolev,
Theresa sent him to back-up Benson; a rookie that's greener than grass. A true comrade.
Chef Takahashi,
Probably Japanese. Probably a chef.
Magistrate Boswell,
Probably king of the douchedrinkers.
Salvador 'Sal' Kite
Old guy with "war stories"; criminal scum who paid the court a fine and/or served his sentence for participating in a massive art heist.
Old Benny
Criminal scum who has violated the law.
Director Hekekia,
Engineering genius or something. Big Samoan guy who speaks better than Benson.
Dr. Jeanine Russell,
Medbay staffer on the Ark. Dreams about touching Benson's athletic body.
Captain Mahama,
Maybe the Captain of the Ark's crew. Strong old African womanboss.
Sahni,
Another nondescript *Zero Finals* player lol. Still noting her just in case they become relevant.
Madison Atwood,
Bryan Benson's PE Teacher; works as a constable in Chinatown. Didn't make an appearance when Chao Feng was arrested for some reason.
Magistrate Jindal,
A judge that appears to have a perverse desire to do his job properly.
Duty Officer Hernandez,
Another constable belonging to Benson's cadre. Raised concerns about Benson being a nepotist.
Celine DiMaggio,
An art thief. Has Alzheimer's in the future where such diseases should have been wiped out.
Lefty, or Huang
A Japanese(?) man living underground and off the radar.
Mei,
One of the vagrant *Unbound*.
Agong, or David Kimura
Elder of the Japanese vagrants living off the radar on the Ark. Name means 'Grandfather' in Mandarin; was thought to have died of a heart attack after joining the Ark's council.
Mao,
Leader of a splinter group of *the Unbound*. The new lead suspect in the murder investigation.
Barta,
An Ensign on the Ark's Crew. Likes getting in people's way. Probably plays SWAT 4 a lot.
--E1: After a truly terrible outing in the Ark's sublevel, Benson's returning to the station to find out who killed Edmond Laraby, courtesy of Dr. Jeanine Russell's inspection/autopsy. The part in Red here kind of annoyed me but I'm not able to articulate why. Anyone who has followed along a few chapters will probably understand.
More meandering; didn't read much of it, both times, but this is so far the longest chapter in the book at about 5400 words. Let your eyes glaze over like mine because we're nearly two-thirds through this dross. Upon retrospect, the bits I highlighted in Blue and Purple are hardly germane... but the highlight in Red is. Yet another gross error somehow nobody caught before publishing.
Benson informs Theresa that David Kimura lives, which may be relevant later, but I'm really just trying to find something to justify the fact 90% of this chapter has been padding so far.
--E2: Before I get to what we've been dying to see (you can see it for yourself at the bottom of the pic, and it will not come as a surprise to anyone), we get the most abrupt soapboxing from Bryan Benson on Laraby's death, and I wish I could show an example of the face I made whilst reading this.
There are 30 chapters in this book. We are on Chapter 18, out of 20. We still do not have a motive for Dr. Laraby's murder (let alone a fucking GUESS as to one), and now, of all times, and after both Benson and Theresa fucked like rabbits in his bed multiple times since his death, the victim of the case is being given some kind of mourning here, a little respect in his passing. This is painfully disingenuous. Bryan Benson blurts out that he "sees himself in Edmond", an only kid with old parents who had to bust ass to get to where he was.
Also, "literally trying to...", "literally", Benson's entire speech pattern changes for no good reason. Oh, just to harp on this a bit more, Edmond Laraby didn't sweat nearly as much as Benson did. Our victim went to school and graduated, sure, but until Director Avelina da Silva championed him/vouched for him, he was nobody and would have remained a nobody because he was an autist who put all his eggs in one special project that da Silva fucking told us was otherwise doomed. Laraby got LUCKY. So did Benson, to be fair, but Benson has actually worked for a living, with his only break coming from a chance meeting with a *Zero Finals* coach to kickstart his life.
After a tinfoil hat moment, and after all of the retarded build-up suggesting Benson was going to read the fucking tablet and we the audience would experience this massive revelation alongside him, Theresa flat-out tells us that **Chao Feng's skin and blood cells were found under Laraby's fingernails, incriminating him in the murder case.**
Benson isn't surprised by this. Weird, but neither was I, because Chao Feng was guilty as fuck and never should have been released in the first place. Bryan resolves to Theresa that he's going to finish this fight, Master Chief style.
--E3: Movement is good and I like movement in a story. Detective Benson yanks Constable Korolev out of bed to assist him in the confrontation with the Ark's Crew. With Devorah probably bowing out of the story at this point I need someone to appreciate and this plucky bastard might just be the real hero of the story by the end.
Anyway, Benson gets an instant warrant from Magistrate Boswell, whom we still have not ever encountered so I don't even know why he has a name, and we're heading to the Bridge. Chao Feng's on duty right now and he's about to have a real bad day. Like me, because I had to read another *Zero Finals* reference.
This whole sequence with a Crewman holding up Benson is probably another attempt at humor by Patrick or a way to wank off the male character as he's about to lay down the law. I damn it as padding and move on.
Benson and Korolev enter the Bridge; Benson squares off with Captain Mahama and browbeats her and she talks some mad shit in return. I don't like how any of this dialogue is written and I'm starting to feel like Patrick misplaced his characters' voices.
Our protagonist makes it clear that he has a warrant and new charges, as well as evidence placing Commander Chao Feng (commander now? what the fuck?) in an altercation with Laraby prior to his death. There's an unnecessary pissing contest here. The last part highlighted in purple is probably what Patrick wishes he could have done to the Onaforums after doxing them all through the courts.
--E4: PaddingPaddingPaddingPaddingPadding. What's important is that we get to the conference room with Mahama and Chao Feng, and we get a dumbass reference to the Salem Witch Trials. Here's my reaction to that. This is a schoolyard and Mahama is the tired, pissed off principal who doesn't want to be here but has to mediate between two dipshit kids and their peurile shenanigans.
Mahama puts her foot down and declares that she is going to subject Feng to a BILD (Brain Imaging Lie Detection) scan. We'll find out what that is in a second, but first she dismisses Korolev for a little extra padding. A BILD scan is basically a lie detector test that works because the device required is already implanted in your fucking brain so there's less chance of tricking it. There's some sudden worldbuilding here that should matter but, well, you know... Patrick Tomlinson. Benson even says that the Ark's laws are based on the original UN Charter, so I must assume that the Ark's Treaty mentioned a while back is, lmao, the fucking UN Charter. Christ. Mahama does a 'lol, lmao' when she drops that they've improved the tech since then. After all this shit, Feng is thrown to the gigasaurus.
The first interrogation of our first real suspect begins at Page 110 out of 188 (according to my reader). Mahama walks Benson through the use of the BILD process and the detective takes over. It's hard to tell if Feng's sweating bullets because of the effect of the BILD procedure or he realizes how fucked he is. I don't know why I'm wondering about that.
First things first... Feng denies giving Edmond Laraby the Monet Haystacks painting from his father's illicit collection. The lie detector determined, that was a Lie.
Benson asks Feng if he arranged for Edmond to be assigned to that luxury home - Feng answers Yes, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth. Benson asks why he set him up with sweet digs, but Mahama interjects and urges him to keep the questions to a yes-or-no kind.
Benson asks Feng if he altered Edmond Laraby's personal files before they reached his desk - Feng answers Yes, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he murdered Edmond Laraby - Feng, vehemently, answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he conspired to murder Edmond Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he hired someone to murder Edmond Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Benson asks Feng if he sent the assassin who attacked him after Laraby's body was recovered - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
Our protagonist gets frazzled and annoyed by this, snarking at Mahama that the machine may need recalibration. The captain issues a rebuttal, stating that he's simply not getting the answers he expected.
Benson asks Feng if he altered the recordings of the airlocks prior to the disposal of Laraby's corpse - Feng answers No and insists Laraby committed Suicide, and the lie detector determined, that he's telling the Truth.
We're at an impasse here.
Tension rises as Benson gets more direct, asking Feng how it could be a suicide: Laraby threw himself out the airlock then erased the video from space? Bullshit, Commander! Feng doesn't have a response to this, and the BILD process throws an error message that not even Mahama understands fully. Turns out that Feng is experiencing cognitive dissonance and that Benson's questions are confusing him. Hmm.
Benson asks Feng if he truly believes that Laraby committed suicide - Feng answers Yes, and the lie detector determined, he's telling the Truth.
Benson then hits Feng with a harder question: why did Feng alter Laraby's files before they were turned over? No answer.
Benson asks Feng if he was being blackmailed by Laraby - Feng answers No, and the lie detector determined, he's telling the Truth.
Pissed off and deadlocked, Benson fires his first real shot by hitting both Feng and Mahama with the evidence he's got: Feng's DNA was found on Laraby's remains. Both Mahama and Feng are gormless... and the captain demands an answer right fuckin' now.
--E5: Aaaaaaand another shoe has officially dropped.
As Benson turns up the heat, Feng can't stand it anymore, and smacks us all in the face with the biggest of big truths: **Chao Feng and Edmond Laraby were lovers,** explaining why Feng's DNA was on Laraby's remains. Oh, and the lie detector determined, Feng's telling the Truth: He altered Laraby's files to erase any mention of their relationship.
I don't have anything to add to this scene that isn't already being marched out before your eyes, but Patrick, being a parrot for left-wing ideology, is virtue signaling really hard with this one and I fucking disdain this reveal on so many levels. If we hadn't already had a bunch of other mega-retarded events occur, on top of statutory rape, I could probably go on an angry rant here about how implausible this horseshit is.
Fortunately, Benson fills in for me.
Benson is rightfully indignant. This motherfucker, at this monumentally critical juncture in human history, obstructed a murder investigation over many long days just so he could stay in the closet. It really calls into question just how much affection there was in their relationship when he assumed Laraby fucking killed himself. Benson says it for me: being Gay is perfectly acceptable in the Ark's society. This is a shitty twist, and it reeks of the author trying to appeal to the LGBT, which is ironic, because if this is meant to inclusively represent the Gays (and it is, because it's Patrick S. Tomlinson), it's a bitter, negative framing that makes them appear to be selfish to a malicious degree. Not to mention, destructive.
But enough of this.
--E6: Benson's still pissed and demands that Mahama run the rest of the Crew through the BILD process, which I tentatively agree is ridiculous but her own reactions (specifically, caring about due process when she twiddles her moustache like a tinpot tyrant several times) piss me off so I end up siding with Benson because we've already crossed several lines and quite possibly committed a few war crimes so what's another inhumanity?
Benson reneges, salutes, and prepares to leave... but something unexpected happens. The lights go out, the room goes dark - emergency lights and sirens scream to life. Something big is happening...
And it's gonna have to wait.
This chapter is the longest of the book so far and it fucking feels like it. I was going to do Chapters 18-20 but this was a slog and I enjoyed making the same Maury Povich reference over and over.
So what happened? Well, after meeting with a bunch of destitute child abusers in the Sublevels, Benson makes it back to the station and learns unceremoniously that the DNA found under the late Edmond Laraby's fingernails belongs to none other than Chao Feng. Right away, Benson makes for the Bridge to confront him and Captain Mahama with a warrant and an unshakable belief that he's culpable in the murder and conspiracy to commit.
Mahama subjects Chao Feng to a sci-fi lie detector process called BILD, which utilizes the *Plant* in Feng's brainmeats to accurately predict whether or not he's telling the truth for simple questions. Benson grills Feng, gradually turning up the heat and even hitting him with the evidence Jeanine gave him, and it all culminates in the reveal that Chao Feng and Edmond Laraby were secret gay lovers, and neither wanted the secret to come out.
Feng admits that he altered Laraby's persona files to conceal the relationship. Judging by the interrogation, Chao Feng is only guilty of obstructing the investigation (and heads better roll, I swear to fuck), and genuinely believed Laraby committed suicide... and he spent all this time being a complete asshole to Benson and trying to steer the investigation away so he wouldn't have to come out of the closet. Such is the pattern of any major reveal: we gain something, and we immediately lose it and then some. That's how Patrick S. Tomlinson writes mysteries, child.
The chapter ends with the Ark appearing to lose power - alarms start ringing! Find out what happens next time! It's probably stupid!
So what happened? Well, after meeting with a bunch of destitute child abusers in the Sublevels, Benson makes it back to the station and learns unceremoniously that the DNA found under the late Edmond Laraby's fingernails belongs to none other than Chao Feng. Right away, Benson makes for the Bridge to confront him and Captain Mahama with a warrant and an unshakable belief that he's culpable in the murder and conspiracy to commit.
Mahama subjects Chao Feng to a sci-fi lie detector process called BILD, which utilizes the *Plant* in Feng's brainmeats to accurately predict whether or not he's telling the truth for simple questions. Benson grills Feng, gradually turning up the heat and even hitting him with the evidence Jeanine gave him, and it all culminates in the reveal that Chao Feng and Edmond Laraby were secret gay lovers, and neither wanted the secret to come out.
Feng admits that he altered Laraby's persona files to conceal the relationship. Judging by the interrogation, Chao Feng is only guilty of obstructing the investigation (and heads better roll, I swear to fuck), and genuinely believed Laraby committed suicide... and he spent all this time being a complete asshole to Benson and trying to steer the investigation away so he wouldn't have to come out of the closet. Such is the pattern of any major reveal: we gain something, and we immediately lose it and then some. That's how Patrick S. Tomlinson writes mysteries, child.
The chapter ends with the Ark appearing to lose power - alarms start ringing! Find out what happens next time! It's probably stupid!
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 13 Sie 2022
Because the kind of culture shock that would make a David Lynch movie seem like a light-hearted romcom should probably have more impact than half a paragraph of "wow smh that's cray cray"?
- Dołączono
- 27 Sie 2023
Someone made a Grindr account for Patrick, and he got literally ZERO interest. The person who did it said he was baffled because there are so many horny faggots on Grindr, he though Pat would get at least something. The only other thing I can thing of is jim-sucks-shit, who was DM'ing people on PornHub and giving them Patrick's number. As for someone setting up a dating app pretending to be Niki and telling them to show up and rape her, that sounds extremely farfetched and highly illegal, and if it did actually happen, it would be pretty easy to track down and apprehend whoever did it.
Ostatnio edytowane przez moderatora:
- Dołączono
- 12 Gru 2022
I mean most people aren't moving 32K in the first place. If you're buying a car full price, 9/10 its on a loan. It makes a small amount of sense to check.
- Dołączono
- 8 Lut 2022
The "Shitting himself at at brewers game" actually has some evidence. If I remember correctly there was a pic of Fatrick and Thikki walking through the stands with a large dark stain showing spreafing from the asscrack of Pricks shorts. It was posted on the thread somewhere but I can't be fucked to try and find it.
- Dołączono
- 4 Cze 2018
In defense, you have to learn how to write somehow. Naomi Novik for example got her start writing fanfic.
Of course, Novik actually learned from her experiences, which is more than Fat ever has.
- Dołączono
- 2 Kwi 2023
This has got to be my favorite reddit bit. I just wish it was archived with the picture before mods deleted the post. I think they used the gym selfie that the above poster PatrickSTomlinson has as their pfp. That said, I thought the pepperoni joke started with a Craigslist ad.
Here is Porsalin's video on the r/autism post.
- Dołączono
- 6 Paź 2021
Thats disgusting. He seems to have a permanent greasy sheen to him so I wonder if he farted and followed through and just didn't notice or Nikki pegs Fat so regularly he needs adult diapers.
Hasn't the sauna at the gym he brags about going to (the one where he posted that smug autism pic with the Brewers t shirt) been revealed as a notorious cruising spot for the homo men of Milwaukee?
Maybe Pats "recreational activities" have resulted in a damaged sphincter and subsequent leakage?
- Dołączono
- 3 Lip 2021
Yeah the pepperoni/sausage thing was a craigslist ad. I think it had Rick's address saying something like "come by this address I'm grinding up black children for my pepperoni" and a concerned citizen called the police. That was the first SWATTing I think. Pat even mentioned it in the hearing with BDA and taunted BDA to the point where the clerk magistrate had to step in and say "sir don't do that"
- Dołączono
- 6 Paź 2021
I can't believe this is 4 years old.
You've almost gotta admire his stubborness, the man just won't quit.
Porsalins Problem Child Documentary, since YouTube are being bitches about it.
You've almost gotta admire his stubborness, the man just won't quit.
- Dołączono
- 7 Lip 2015
The original ad didn't mention either kidnapping or murdering children; that was an invention of fatboy's delusional mind which people like the ones in that thread ran with afterwards.
Interestingly, despite claiming that he'd been "doxed" "many times", visited by a "white supremacist" [and sticking a gun in said supremacist's face], a "welfare check" in July of 2019, an "internet crime" call in May of 2019 and a "suspicious person" call at 4:29 AM CST on the 23rd of February 2020 [the pen-light vandal?], he cites an alleged police visit in May of 2020 in response to that posting as the first "SWATTing" event.
And after adding all of that from my own notes I remembered that the other guys have an entire compilation of these early events, in case you weren't already aware.
I wonder which, if any, of those events was the "great joke book heist"? I'm led to believe he didn't reside at the shithovel at the time.
Załączniki
Ostatnio edytowane:
- Dołączono
- 18 Cze 2020
Nah you're good homie, I just get touchy when people act like ADHD is this quirky heehee disorder, when it's not.
But I'll sound like a broken record if I sperg about it
- Dołączono
- 5 Cze 2015
of course he did, please search the thread before asking these 101-level questions.
the footage of it is archived on the ONAforums, i watched it there originally. if you ask in a thread they'll send it to you
- Dołączono
- 21 Mar 2023
Dudes I just commented on another thread and had a random immediately attack me.
Life isn’t always right.
Life isn’t always right.
- Dołączono
- 5 Cze 2015
i'm sorry but the pests' forum is the only place to get the brewers incident video, you'll have to keep inquiring there until they let you see it. i hesitate to get to deep into this subject because it's sensitive but basically null hates the video and won't let it be posted here.
- Dołączono
- 21 Mar 2023
Kek but I meant a weirdo called “Stinky Snack”
A weird bitch who seems to stalk the Russell Greer thread as if she’s a mod.
A weird bitch who seems to stalk the Russell Greer thread as if she’s a mod.
- Dołączono
- 8 Lip 2020
Didn't know Jackie Singh posts here. Does she know where Daddy Cum Cannon went? He promised he'd just go get some smokes.