💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

Look man, Jack has had to eat hospital food a whole bunch and so he's earned eating several packages of bacon. He just needs to be careful to not have sugar free sweetener on it so he doesn't have another stroke.

Jack is the actual hospital bitch who complains that the food in the hospital is terrible, plus the portions are small.

He keeps looking more and more like a potato someone forgot in their pantry. Hey he even has the weirdly shaped roots growing out of it!

From my experience with naked aging fat men

I wouldn't volunteer this information if I were you.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

If he's supposed to be losing weight, all that food is a terrible idea. The whole notion of a big breakfast or "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" comes from a time when most people worked physical jobs, often without a lunch break.

So a breakfast like that for a guy going to the factory for a 10 hour shift? Sure. But Jack literally lies in bed all day and watches cartoons.

When you're used to eating large quantities of food you wind up feeling that you need to continue to eat that much even if your reasons for it are gone.

Jagoff has gorged his entire life and is not going to change now.

Wyświetl załącznik 4793190

Come on, man. Your wife is your primary caretaker and is currently preparing to spend the rest of her life heaving you on/off the toilet. Why lecture as if her [frankly, Christlike] self abnegation is your own?

No. A relationship takes work. True love is there whether you like it or not. Mrs. Sebben might drive me up the wall sometimes and I know I drive her crazy as well on occasion. But that doesn't mean I don't love her.

What this sounds like is Jagoff needs to focus on his Sailor Moon poster and Optimus Prime toy to keep those homosexual demons at bay. Anybody who says true love requires work has never truly been in love.

Jack’s rolling out, looking for America’s great wheelchair-accessible diners, drive-ins, and dives.

Wyświetl załącznik 4793440

He's gotten fatter. At this point is there any reason to keep him alive? Just kill him already and let Hammy find herself another man.

So for one thing, of course he's dreaming about bacon. Dreaming about butter too, asshole? Second, why the fuck is he sharing his own posts just a minute later?

Wyświetl załącznik 4795498

Faggot has gotten bacon with half his meals. I think the last time I had bacon was... a month ago.

He doesn't need more bacon and when you're craving this it means you need to cut back.

As a veteran of elderly debilitated voluntarily-incontinent fat people, I predict Jack will discover external urinary catheters, although possibly not until he is at home and in Tammy's 24/7 care. Not a texas cath, for obvious reasons; probably the dick daisy Men's Liberty, for its design and for its mighty daytime TV advertising budget.

I checked that site and this stood out, "works great for men with a retracted or hidden penis".

You'd think that having this condition in the first place would be a wake up call. But no. We now have devices that help you deal with it. Not the symptoms. Not the reasons. But the aftermath. Instead of losing weight just strap one on. It's times like this that I hate modern life.

 

[TestTubePuppy]

He said in a comment the other day that he's basically staying until insurance won't cover any more.

That is a VERY unwise strategy. This is March. There's three quarters of a year left to go. If he uses up all his nursing care allowance at the beginning of the year, he's at risk of being high and dry if he has another stroke and comes out of it even worse off. His family might be left on their own to take care of a drooling, bedwetting near-vegetable for six to eight months.

 

[AnOminous]

That is a VERY unwise strategy. This is March. There's three quarters of a year left to go. If he uses up all his nursing care allowance at the beginning of the year, he's at risk of being high and dry if he has another stroke and comes out of it even worse off. His family might be left on their own to take care of a drooling, bedwetting near-vegetable for six to eight months.

Tammy needs to know there's a way out of this. It involves a pillow on Jack's face, and she can just kneel on it until Jack is gone.

 

[Pig Cups]

External catheter while not actually incontinent would be very on-brand for the Lazy Man. Maybe he'll claim they sent him some as an endorsement deal.

I think a catheter with a urinary bag strapped to his leg would be the most on-brand. A urinal requires maneuvering and positioning, which is actual work. And we know how much Jack hates having to put any amount of effort into anything. Therefore, being able to freely release when the urge strikes, with no worries or cares (provided the bag isn’t full), is his preferred option. He can just rely on MommyWife to change out his piss sacks anyway, so why should he care?

Holy shit- Jack with a bag would make him closer to Bennie Sears than a functional human lol

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I think a catheter with a urinary bag strapped to his leg would be the most on-brand. A urinal requires maneuvering and positioning, which is actual work. And we know how much Jack hates having to put any amount of effort into anything. Therefore, being able to freely release when the urge strikes, with no worries or cares (provided the bag isn’t full), is his preferred option. He can just rely on MommyWife to change out his piss sacks anyway, so why should he care?

Holy shit- Jack with a bag would make him closer to Bennie Sears than a functional human lol
Wyświetl załącznik 4795958

Lol Jack doing the soy face

 

[AnOminous]

Lol Jack doing the soy face

I believe I have posted dozens of Jackoff's soy faces to the soy face thread.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Is he actually leaving the facility? He said in a comment the other day that he's basically staying until insurance won't cover any more. I'm honestly stoked for the home care saga to begin.

He's still in the nursing home. Tammy's brought him out a couple of other times to see movies and stuff popcorn and nachos into the abyss of Jack's drooling mouth.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Holy shit- Jack with a bag would make him closer to Bennie Sears than a functional human lol
Wyświetl załącznik 4795958

Hey, that's a good point. Where is Jack's faithful audience of trainables?

Bennie has the look of a man who's had visits to subacute rehab in his time. Jack should be reaching out to viewers like him for advice and fellowship.

 

[Marisa]

He can just rely on MommyWife to change out his piss sacks anyway, so why should he care?

i told tammy to empty my catheter 10 minutes ago. should i...
1. piss all over myself like a baby
2. empty the catheter on the floor
3. try to move myself over to the toilet and empty it like a functional human being

 

[Adamska]

Have Jack's legs always been that atrophied from disuse. or has the stroke accelerated things? Fucking meatball with toothpicks in it physique over here.

He probably was retarded enough to throw fits when they forced him to use the stroke walker to try and rehabilitate his legs and they might have given up on him. He fucking refused to actually go through with the OT for his dead arm when that stroke came in after all. Though to be fair he was always pretty inactive with his legs, especially after he lost use of his arm, since that did also give him noticeable foot drop. His limp-waddle and getting out of breath just doing it for like ten feet really tells you that.

And yeah, since he's absolutely sedentary now and either taking the bill for all that food or burning through the limit at breakfast, it's not surprising he got fatter. Especially since we know the fucker is demanding that Tammy give him shit like Arby's or Cheddar's when the staff "isn't looking".

 

[That Damned Tiger]

Tryhard Duckfaggot is back, singing the praises of Honest Tries, a YouTuber with a similar schtick as Should I Series. HT is making a party cheese salad, and less than a minute in, August makes it clear that he (once again) made no effort to do prior research. He makes it sound as if HT is the first to do a party cheese salad video, ignoring the fact that there are quite a few others already on YouTube.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8oChy9SepJ8>He admits to fucking up and deleting the first attempt at filming the above video.
>Unlike most of his Jack uploads, this isn’t too abbreviated.

It doesn’t look like the HT Party Cheese video has ever made it to this thread.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=H-AmP9ihtogI like this video. Party Cheese Salad videos are oddly comforting, but this one is especially so. Dude has astounding fortitude, considering that he could chew and swallow a bite of that garbage without heaving. But just looking at his face, you can tell that he was really struggling to hold it together.

I'm beginning to suspect that August has such a hate boner for Jack. I mean, we all have bile fascination, but he's just not gonna go about it right, is he?

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

I'm beginning to suspect that August has such a hate boner for Jack. I mean, we all have bile fascination, but he's just not gonna go about it right, is he?

I'm gonna have to press X to doubt. Just strikes me more likely that Jack is a indeed a bile fascination, but doesn't really look him up outside of a YouTube video (I remember him mentioning he did YouTube commentaries while going to college, so take that with a grain of salt). He also said in his last proper Jack Commentary that Jack was on a break and didn't seem to know about the stroke, which means he doesn't follow Jack on Facebook like some of the Kiwis do. All of that would add up to how Honest Tries is somehow the first time he saw someone make the Party Cheese Salad. Just hope this doesn't devolve into a series of videos of people making it.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

I'm gonna have to press X to doubt. Just strikes me more likely that Jack is a indeed a bile fascination, but doesn't really look him up outside of a YouTube video (I remember him mentioning he did YouTube commentaries while going to college, so take that with a grain of salt). He also said in his last proper Jack Commentary that Jack was on a break and didn't seem to know about the stroke, which means he doesn't follow Jack on Facebook like some of the Kiwis do. All of that would add up to how Honest Tries is somehow the first time he saw someone make the Party Cheese Salad. Just hope this doesn't devolve into a series of videos of people making it.

Whatever the case may be, August is shit at YT commentary.

 

[curbside2]

Whatever the case may be, August is shit at YT commentary.

He makes good videos for taking a morning shit. I don’t even finish most of them.

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Jack’s rolling out, looking for America’s great wheelchair-accessible diners, drive-ins, and dives.

Wyświetl załącznik 4793440

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Like many have mentioned, when people get afflicted with something and end up in places like Jagoff is in they usually spend their time focusing on recovery and trying to get back to their lives and loved ones rather than bitch and moan about the food. Has he made a single post talking about any progress in his recovery? I'm guessing there is no good news to report on the neurological front.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Whatever the case may be, August is shit at YT commentary.

I have no clue how he got as many followers as he has. He just has lazy, wrong, or shittakes and that gets him a career? Fuck, I should start a YT react channel.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

That is a VERY unwise strategy. This is March. There's three quarters of a year left to go. If he uses up all his nursing care allowance at the beginning of the year, he's at risk of being high and dry if he has another stroke and comes out of it even worse off. His family might be left on their own to take care of a drooling, bedwetting near-vegetable for six to eight months.

You think he cares? He's living the lazy man's dream right now. Doesn't have to do anything. Food is brought to him and when he needs to go tinkle he calls and they help him there and back. And they wipe his ass for him.

He's not going to try to get better. This is his life now.

 

[Hokuriku]

Imagine the sheer assholery level of Jack. Most people, you'd feel sorry for them after they got crippled by a stroke. With Jack, though, he turns it into an opportunity to hate his filthy stinking guts even more and wish he would die and start burning in Hell as soon as possible.

Generally I agree with Null that alogs are more cringe than their cow, and just the idea of Jack's videos had grossed me out too much to want to follow him anyway. But now that he's recently gotten onto my radar good fucking God give me a top hat because I can't stand this prick.

He's unironically on the same level as an alcoholic who manages to get a life-saving liver transplant only to go right back into drinking after he's discharged.