💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[That Damned Tiger]

I've been away from the Farms for nearly the last week, and have come back to Jack's latest episode. Allow me to preface this with sticking to my 'live forever out of spite' vote, but with the addendum 'how much life could he possibly have left in him?'

In a way, it's kind inspiring. Not in the whole, 'He turned things around for himself, maybe I should follow his lead and do better too', but in the whole, 'Holy shit, this is the kind of thing I don't want to suffer. I need to start taking better care of myself and lose weight while I still can.'

 

[atoi]

I enjoy August the Duck well enough (Everyone goes over him not having heard of beer in chili, but the part right afterwards where he says "I'm not try to be sarcastic when I ask about these thing, I genuinely want to learn about these thing" seems to fly over everyone's head like an instruction manual in the Scalfani Household)

Random tangent about the duck:

I can't remember if it was a livestream or a video but he was watching one of those cheesy Dhar Mann videos and iirc a kid gets punished in gym class and the teacher makes him run a mile. August's comment: "I'm pretty sure that's illegal and child abuse"

Didn't everyone have to run a mile every year in PE class? Wasn't that like a national standard thing? When I was growing up, we got literal paddlings at our school for getting out of line. Running a mile is far from child abuse. August is just another narcissistic gen Z faggot that is out of touch with reality before the age of 20.

"Hey guys I'm posting a video today that I won't be posting a video cause listen to how bad my beautiful voice sounds and I scratched the corvette i bought with my youtube money"

 

[Midnight Energy Drink]

It's quite impressive how often he intentionally sabotages himself by being a pissy sobbing baby. He had a deal of sorts available, not to the degree he wanted, but better than nothing and fucking nuked it. He does it repeatedly too, ranging from his actual sobbing fit on national television on West Texas Investors, to this ancient cry baby blog he used to run where he nuked relations with an owner of a patio store just because she said "yeah, this tastes like most sauces" during negotiations.

Legitimately a deluded fool. It's not surprising with an attitude like this he nuked his Walmart chances. I bet the stupid bastard demanded they stock a lot too and screeched when the poor sales forced his mommy-wife to pay out of pocket and he had to hoard all that shit.

Also fun fact for those not familiar with his Blogs: not a single thing Jack ever did was on his own. The sauce business? His mommy funded it and was a partner, likely doing footwork for her retarded son. The DJ entertainment thing he sometimes bragged about? Charles helped him with that, since he was on the scene for shit like that at the time. Charles also suggested using Youtube to sell his sauces.

He wouldn't say the food tastes bland if he did some of the newer cooking items, since those things have nothing but salt. Still, it's always nice to see someone who tried to make the party cheese salad. Still needs to try and make that garbage stew tho.

Wow, this sentence encapsulates being a lolcow in ways I can't explain.

The very first other blog post I click on and Jack has to be a total asshole again:

(link)
Hospital? Wanting blood? What next, doctors asking you to go on diet?

 

[ZipDisk]

I think the people wanting this to become a legacy show are needlessly cruel.

Junior wouldn't have been half the faggot he is if he had been removed by child services.

You can literally watch Jack fuck his son up on video over time.

Recently Jr has talked about "getting paid" to be in the videos. While that is shitty and parasitical, it's not like Jack hasn't mined him for content. He was Hope before there was Hope.

Fuck August the duck. Walking away didn't work, so he waddled the fuck back to Jack content. And he doesn't even have anything funny or insightful to add.

Shit, the play by plays revolver used to do were more content than August.

And I deeply wish people would shut the fuck up about the party salad. It's not even notable among Jack videos, but that's the one the big channels riffed on, so all the sixth string fucks have to do that video too.

Amateurs were riffing on the party salad in real time. Let it die.

Jack is too angry to live, and too stupid to die.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Wow, this sentence encapsulates being a lolcow in ways I can't explain.
Wyświetl załącznik 4598521

The very first other blog post I click on and Jack has to be a total asshole again:

Wyświetl załącznik 4598526
(link)
Hospital? Wanting blood? What next, doctors asking you to go on diet?

One of the things that pisses me off the most about Jack is this entitled bitching he does whenever someone "wastes" his time. As though he does anything other than eat fast food, bitch on facebook, and watch blues clues. Literal prisoners can contribute more to society than Jack has in his entire fucking life, but he somehow has the audacity to be incensed by a blood donation ad. Worthless fat shit-stain.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Even on deathbed Jack still hates his mother. Don't worry fat fuck, you will be joining her soon. God is gud.

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Well now we know where Tammy got her love of hopeless causes from. Family relationships are complicated and without PL, I won't shit on him for this. You can adopt people as your family easily as an adult and I think it is a real success that PIL adopt their CIL as their own and visa versa. It doesn't have to be a combative relationship at all necessarily. If it works for them mutually, meh, I am not going to judge on this point. If he is actually being sincere, which who knows, this is a very nice thing. I mean, I hope my kid marries into a family that I would be at peace leaving my adult child and grandchildren to should both I and her father keel over long before our child and grandchildren do.

 

[Gloria The Glorious]

And I deeply wish people would shut the fuck up about the party salad. It's not even notable among Jack videos, but that's the one the big channels riffed on, so all the sixth string fucks have to do that video too.

Out of spite, I'm going to talk about it more.

Spoiler: C H E E S E

Party cheese salad is both unlike anything Jack has ever done, yet almost perfectly encapsulates every bad trait with his cooking:

• Putting an entire block of cream cheese into a dish that didn't need a single cube
• Taking a legitimate idea (Jello Salads) and making it practically inedible (in this case, through the mixture of texture and poor flavor matches)
• Being surprised vegetables are something he's willing to eat (it's easy to miss, but the idea that something can be sweet with vegetables in it sounds like he's shocked by it in the taste test)
• Throwing a bunch of shit into a pot and praying it works (I think this is one of the only times he's ever mixed stuff together, though)
• Refusing to admit any part of it isn't great (you can see him cringe as he chews on that... thing)
• has a dish that looks vomit inducing in the end (literally looks like a baby got sick for 10 minutes straight and it was placed in the freezer)
• This part only really matters to us fruit farmers, but a secret lore detail on Cooking With Jack is that he loves to talk about food he's eating on Facebook and is a narcissist who loves to brag about his accomplishments... but has never posted "made this dish again, and everyone loved it" which is especially bizarre for a "family" "recipe" like this. I'd bet good money that Jack hasn't made this dish once since that video.

Party Cheese Salad is to Cooking With Jack as Final Fantasy 7 is to Final Fantasy: once you've experience the whole catalog, it probably won't be your vote for top tier. But if you're getting into it, you'd be doing yourself a disservice to skip out on it.

The only other thing I will say in relation to Ducky The Fucky is what I'd say on everyone who has made glorified reactions/commentaries to Jack: save the videos. If Jack is really crippled, even if he makes videos, many of those videos can disappear overnight as it suddenly becomes poor taste. Having lighthearted fun* reacting to a narcissist who can't cook but is fully convinced he's the only chef who can teach you how to do it right becomes less fun when the reality of the situation weighs in.**

*Unlike Jack, who is not light nor fun.
**The reality of the situation weighs a lot because Jack is really fat.

 

[Trig.Point]

Not sure if you watched Binging with Babish before (highly recommend you do if you haven't, his editing is clean and the vids are well paced. Very, well, bingable), but what he would do is take the general premise and try to make a good thing out of the idea. In this case, either make a savory jello (redeem the recipe) or make a literal party cheese salad (as in a salad with a decent amount of cheese meant to be shared at a party).

Probably for the best as far as Babish's career is concerned to not do so, though.

Andrew Rea (Babish) like most food successful food YouTubers worked in film production before getting into YouTube and had the contacts and media savvy to make it work. His schtick initially was recreating food from the movies, however anybody that's watched the film 'The Menu' and then watched him trying to recreate the hamburger from it, will see the theme of that movie went completely over his head.

Adam Ragusea is another one, brilliant sound and video, but with meh recipes and who has recently started to take joy in fucking with traditional food(watch him make an Irish Stew with beef and tomato paste, while taking pleasure at sneering at people who he knows are going to point out it's not actually an Irish Stew). He built his audience and is now making videos about how Mario Batali (who was accused of repeated sexual assaults) is the same as JK Rowling.

Jack is a bad chef/person/YouTuber... however lets not pretend that people with more polished production and cooking skills are somehow his moral superior.

 

[Tiresome]

Andrew Rea (Babish) like most food successful food YouTubers worked in film production before getting into YouTube and had the contacts and media savvy to make it work. His schtick initially was recreating food from the movies, however anybody that's watched the film 'The Menu' and then watched him trying to recreate the hamburger from it, will see the theme of that movie went completely over his head.

I cooled on the entire Babish schtick when he tried to make Homer Simpson's caramel-liquid smoke waffles as if it was a recipe that would work in real life or should even be repeated.

 

[ZipDisk]

I fucking hate how Babish makes bread in almost every fucking video. We get it, you own a stand mixer.

 

[densedance]

Ragusea is an arrogant cock that made a video being condescending towards Marco Pierre White. Meanwhile he couldn't survive a day in a semi-professional kitchen that wasn't even in a full Service..

Babish is one of those guys that "Okay guys, today I make a traditional Carbonara. First let me add (all the stuff that is basically not traditional by 10 miles away). But he knows he can get away with his audience, so he doesn't care.

 

[ZipDisk]

I like Ragusea's fucking nerditry. I didn't know that iodide was added to salt to fight cretinism, and the bullshit Kosher Salt trend may bring it back.

 

[Trig.Point]

I fucking hate how Babish makes bread in almost every fucking video. We get it, you own a stand mixer.

A lot of bread making YouTubers got a start during lockdown when it was becoming popular. However it was only for a short while before snakes like Babish and Ragusea got the hint and started gaming the algorithim.

You can always tell solid bread makers on YouTube because they'll have recipies that use all purpose flour, rather than bread flour. Like this one, she got 2.5 million views during lockdown, then she got the thumbs down from YouTube and had her channel killed off.

 

[80's Dad]

I've been away from the Farms for nearly the last week, and have come back to Jack's latest episode. Allow me to preface this with sticking to my 'live forever out of spite' vote, but with the addendum 'how much life could he possibly have left in him?'

In a way, it's kind inspiring. Not in the whole, 'He turned things around for himself, maybe I should follow his lead and do better too', but in the whole, 'Holy shit, this is the kind of thing I don't want to suffer. I need to start taking better care of myself and lose weight while I still can.'

Once you start taking steps towards losing weight and getting healthier, you realize it's the easiest thing. On one hand, you get to see the results and are proud of your commitment to bettering yourself. On the other, it makes you jaded towards people like Jack or Amberlynn, towards the average bowling ball shaped human you see at the mall. It truly is down to self control and making good decisions, day after day. There is absolutely no reason for an average size person to weight 250+ pounds. The fact that we treat it as normal is disgusting and a little maddening, tbh.

PL: I lost 50 lbs last year without completely revamping my lifestyle or going on a strict diet, or even stepping foot in the gym. Just cutting back portions, cutting back on the alcohol, and going for a decent walk/hike sometimes when the weather's nice.

 

[Trig.Point]

Once you start taking steps towards losing weight and getting healthier, you realize it's the easiest thing. On one hand, you get to see the results and are proud of your commitment to bettering yourself. On the other, it makes you jaded towards people like Jack or Amberlynn, towards the average bowling ball shaped human you see at the mall. It truly is down to self control and making good decisions, day after day. There is absolutely no reason for an average size person to weight 250+ pounds. The fact that we treat it as normal is disgusting and a little maddening, tbh.

PL: I lost 50 lbs last year without completely revamping my lifestyle or going on a strict diet, or even stepping foot in the gym. Just cutting back portions, cutting back on the alcohol, and going for a decent walk/hike sometimes when the weather's nice.

Portion control is key, together with being able to cook for yourself.

A few years back, I was a bit of a fatty, then I started cooking everything I ate from scratch. The day I sat down to a meal of roasted potatoes, carrots, peppers and garlic (which was pretty good) was a milestone for me... I got healthier, more energy, started doing more exercise, however I didn't lose weight until I learned portion control and started weighing everything I ate... oh and switched from cider to vodka.

I like Ragusea's fucking nerditry. I didn't know that iodide was added to salt to fight cretinism, and the bullshit Kosher Salt trend may bring it back.

Mate don't buy into his bullshit, he's a former shit tier college lecturer who's used to keeping his students engaged by throwing interesting facts at them.

 

[ZipDisk]

I totally buy that even cooking at a fast food restaurant would overwhelm and break him.
I took a job at a deli to see if I wanted to cook for a living, and turns out, Nope! I fucking hated it.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Wyświetl załącznik 4597708

We can only hope but so far... no such luck.

I don't think it's possible to make a good version of the Party Cheese Salad since it's a bunch of random shit thrown together then tossed in a fridge to solidify and cut into bars. If you go for a more salad approach, you'll be cutting out the jello and cream cheese, if go heavy in the solid bar direction, it's no longer a salad. It's basically going to be a mess or something entirely different.

With everything in it? No. It's horrific. But if you take some of those elements and flavors then I'm sure you could come up with something edible or even good.

Like you take the celery, pepper, pecans and swap out the lemon jello with lemon juice you have the base for a salad. Add some tomatoes, lettuce, sweet red onions and so on and it could work. Or maybe if you sauteed them in a pan with some ginger, garlic and soy sauce going for some Asian type dish. Maybe add some carrots, mushrooms and so on you could do some kind of stir fry.

But the Party Cheese Salad itself? It's horrific.

 

[stupidpieceofshit]

Andrew Rea (Babish) like most food successful food YouTubers worked in film production before getting into YouTube and had the contacts and media savvy to make it work. His schtick initially was recreating food from the movies, however anybody that's watched the film 'The Menu' and then watched him trying to recreate the hamburger from it, will see the theme of that movie went completely over his head.

Adam Ragusea is another one, brilliant sound and video, but with meh recopies and who has recently started to take joy in fucking with traditional recipes (watch him make an Irish Stew with beef and tomato paste, while taking pleasure at sneering at people who he knows are going to point out it's not actually an Irish Stew). He built his audience and is now making videos about how Mario Batali (who was accused of repeated sexual assaults) is the same as JK Rowling.

Jack is a bad chef/person/YouTuber... however lets not pretend that people with more polished production and cooking skills are somehow his moral superior.

I have admittedly have kind of a "soft spot" for Rea as his videos are what got me interested in cooking as a hobby/enjoyment vs just basic stuff for survival. Has his "basic" videos gotten that bad too? I thought his film/show foods were suppose to be the show off weird/different foods (like bear meat) and the basics was he more grounded. (after he expanded in to a "universe" I fell off his channel).

Ragusea for me is...meh some of his videos can be interesting but to me always came off as kind of preachy and that always turned me off.

But why Ragusea and Rea are better then jack is that they both give the impression that they give a shit about their product the video and the food to some degree unlike Jack.

I came across another channel called Anti-chef seeing him attempt to understand and follow Julia Child's recipes (mostly from Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol. 1 and 2, and the French Chef) has been interesting (not sure about his other videos) and though it discovered some good ones.

As far as the Party Cheese salad some jackass just took a fruit jello/aspic fruit salad and a savory aspic monstrosity form the 50s/60s and combined it in to one. The Fruits/sweet ingrediency remind me of the fruit jello desert my grandmother use to make when I was a kid on holidays,

I think I might have found the beginnings of party cheese salad, it looks like Lime Jello, green olives stuffed with pimento, American Cheese (blocks/chuncks), and the celery, it is just missing the bell peppers.

 

[Trig.Point]

I came across another channel called Anti-chef seeing him attempt to understand and follow Julia Child's recipes (mostly from Mastering the Art of French Cooking Vol. 1 and 2, and the French Chef) has been interesting (not sure about his other videos) and though it discovered some good ones.

The reason Anti-Chef is so good is because he shows his fuck up, and demonstrates that he's emotionally invested in recipes that are in reality a product of 19th century france.

However Jamie Tracey (Anti Chef) is again a former VFX creator from Canada who needed a job when he followed his wife to Belgium and later New York. So his videos look great, even if he doesn't try to put a gloss on the food (a more honest version of Babish).

You, @ZipDisk as well as others keep coming pack to Jacks Party cheese salad well here's Anti-Chef trying to actually make Aspic as per Julia Childs (no pictures cookbook) and showing why people just don't anymore.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Thank you for this, this is a gem. The man has been a fat idiotic 11 year old his entire adult life.

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Wow, this sentence encapsulates being a lolcow in ways I can't explain.
Wyświetl załącznik 4598521

The very first other blog post I click on and Jack has to be a total asshole again:

Wyświetl załącznik 4598526
(link)
Hospital? Wanting blood? What next, doctors asking you to go on diet?

"Do God's work and He will do your work!"​