Oh god, just picture it…
JOTG where (at best) he’s wearing an oxygen cannula and wheezing. And he’s sitting in an electric wheelchair with a seat that reeks of prune and banana shits, but you know it’s not prune and banana because he never eats either.
It would honestly be a pretty clean troll for her. She gets to do some Christian posturing in front of her church friends (soliciting prayers, if she truly values it), while throwing out bait and enjoying the novelty of watching it float over here within hours. I’d be looking for something to do as well, sitting there in the family waiting room.
Subtle. Milanowski-esque, even…
Honestly, that was the most transactional prayer post I've ever seen on social media. IF god saves Jack, and only then, will they give god praise and glory. It always irks me when prayer warriors completely take the incredible people working to save the life they're praying for out of the equation. Why not ask god to work through those people? You can acknowledge god and the medical staff, it doesn't have to be just one or the other. It's very normal to see people treat god as a wish-granting genie (especially people like Jack), but people usually aren't quite so blatant about the whole 'I'll praise you if you help me" stuff and don't make it sound like a transaction at a store.
Then again, Jack has an entire email and web page dedicated to people sending HIM prayer requests.
It always tickled me that he seems to think that other people don't have a direct line to god to ask him for help, but he does, so people need him to pray to god on their behalf. Usually if a person asks for prayers on their behalf either they ask a big group of people (like their church congregation) or they ask a significant religious figure in their life (such as their church leader). I have never seen anyone other than those charismatic church leaders set up a service where they take prayer requests, and even then it sort of makes sense because they're the leader of the church. Jack is just a dude with no spiritual authority over anyone.
It really speaks to his massive ego and unwarranted self-importance that he's set up this "service".
I feel like in Jack's version of heaven he could eat as much meat as he likes, every meal he prepares is a lazy man recipe that turns out incredible every time, and everything is overseasoned to compensate for his utterly wrecked taste buds. In Jack's heaven, he can eat all the raw chicken he likes, the waitstaff trip over themselves to beg him to film at their restaurants and the burgers always look like the posters. He gets to roll everywhere on his scooty-puff and people do all his prep work for him even though he has two functional arms.
In Jack's version of hell, he rarely ever gets to eat steak, and when he does it's prepared for normal people (i.e. with just a pinch of seasoning) so it always tastes bland to him. The steak is also always medium, never even medium-rare, so he always thinks it's severely overcooked. The drive-thru lines stretch for days and when he finally gets his order there's not enough lettuce or sauce and he isn't offered any condiments or allowed to use discount coupons. The waitstaff treat him as rudely as he's always treated them, and he's never allowed to film. There are no scooty-puffs in hell, and he has to do endless prep work with his t-rex arm.
