Does anyone else get crippling dysphoria when reading or watching mlm romance?
I’ve been reading a mlm book recently and am reminded that I go into a depressive state every time. It’s just like… I’m never going to have that experience. Rationally, I know it must suck to grow up as a gay man in such an unaccepting world, but I’m jealous. My teenage years are almost gone and I haven’t even dated any guys. I never got a chance to have someone have a crush on me. I never looked like a boy. I never acted like a boy. These books, while I love them, make me so incredibly frustrated and depressed. Kinda just wondering if any of y’all understand?
I'm a hard-core yaoi reader so I always try to self insert but it's like damn...I wish that was me
yeah :/ it's so hard bc I want to consume media like that but I know it just makes me feel like shit afterwards. I watched heartstopper for the first time a few weeks ago and I was sent into some really bad dysphoria from it, I really liked the show, but it just sucks that I never got to have an experience like that
I really like mlm romance but felt bad about it before knowing I was Trans. Tbh it made me feel happier that I could live a life that I dreamed of once I accepted being trans. Even if I don't have a cis man's kinda body, I'm happy enough with it. My disphoria comes more from people than anyone else
I read a lot of yaoi and mlm fanfic as a tween/young teen because I saw myself in it (am a gay dude) and wanted that for myself. I didn't realise it at the time, but yeah LOL
I get what you mean though. I found it difficult to watch Heartstopper because it just filled me with a sort of grief-like feeling over never being able to have those experiences growing up as a guy. The scene where they have their first kiss? GOD I wish I'd had that as a teen. :') Dysphoria sucks