🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

[AnOminous]

Ralph visits one of the safest countries in the world and manages to get assaulted.

Is there any chance that this wasn't entirely his own doing?

Speaking as a Bayesian, considering the known behavior of Ethan Oliver Ralph and the general safety of Lisbon, Portugal, I would say the probability that his own actions led to his ill-treatment by locals is well upwards of 90%.

 

[Manticucc]

Why the bouncer? He could have easily got a beatdown from the house mother for groping the goods without paying. What bothers me is the fact that he got to keep the phone and passport? Even the desperate know those are valuable. The cards have a short life cycle and the murse is worthless to a good mugger.

I dont think he's dumb enough to carry his passport around with him everywhere....

And phones arent really worth stealing anymore. Theyre typically encrypted nowadays- and you can remotely brick Iphones and Android Phones if theyre stolen.

 

[Drew Pickles 69]

How will Ralph ever recover from this? You have to imagine Gator's probably working overtime right now and I don't know if he and the other jannies can sweep this one up for the gunt.

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

There is a small subset of people that I really would like to have the opportunity to go back in time as an invisible entity to just sit and observe in their natural, wild, habitat.

 

[joebobmurphy]

Wyświetl załącznik 2923839

Think we can get @Null to make this an emoji?

 

[HumanHive]

Think we can get @Null to make this an emoji?

Make it into an NFT.

 

[Pizdec]

> Be me
> Never the loser of any situation, always trying to come out on top
> Friend hangs out with people who point out your Ls
> Out of principle, you disassociate with them to keep winning
> Visit their home country that they cannot afford to visit out of spite
> It's a third world shit hole
> Bring your expensive man purse that you were bullied into keeping with you despite it being a third world country
> Drugs are legal, so you search them out
> Presumably get into a fight with a pimp/dealer and have them smash their cane/fist in your face
> Your orbital socket is broken and you're now stuck in a third world European country being treated on government healthcare
> Tell your orbiters and loyalists on twitter about how you got mugged and post the fifteen different ways they can send you money
> Try to ignore the dog that's laughing at you who is also in Europe but doing far better then you

Am I still winning?

 

[joebobmurphy]

Make it into an NFT.

You mad man! Imagine how livid Gunt would be.

 

[Hugh Mongoose]

Ralph fucked around and found out. Did he get mugged like the official story? Did his attempt to hire a hooker go wrong? Did he try to buy drugs from the wrong people? Did he chimpout at the bar last night?

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1486513025372889090

Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Well, I've definitely got to experience Port…

archived 27 Jan 2022 01:52:34 UTC

archive.md

Wyświetl załącznik 2923734
Wyświetl załącznik 2923741
THEY GOT THE MANPURSE:
Wyświetl załącznik 2923787

How do you even get mugged in Portugal, it’s one of the safest countries out there. Truly, the Gunt exceeds expectations once more!

 

[HumanHive]

You mad man! Imagine how livid Gunt would be.

"If you're concerned about your image being used unlawfully, you're welcome to bid on it."

 

[Desktop User2]

when is Neigh due? Could you imagine losing the birth of your second son because you got your shit pushed in by the pimp of some underage hooker after losing the first because you released revenge porn of the "birther"?

 

[The Big Dream]

I'm of the opinion the purse could've been taken as a souvenir (that's assuming the craigslist ad is a coincidence). When I was a kid I knew people who would mug Indians in my neighbourhood and steal their hats/shoes as a trophy. If I were that kind of character, stealing a fat American's purse would be peak humour.

"Guys, guys, you won't believe who I beat up today! This fat fucking faggot had a purse! Look!"

 

[MadStan]

Look. I know how we all feel about Ralph on here but I think we should show a little humanity. We have to remember he is flesh and blood just like us and was brutally beaten.

I propose a go-fund me page to reward the girls who beat the shit out of him.

 

[3-2-1836]

You know what you have to do now Gator. You gotta pony up the $334.16 it'll cost to buy back your master's purse. It'll be the perfect thing to cheer him up when he returns.
Quickly, before the ayylogs get to it!

If I knew anyone in Portugal I would wire the 300€ immediately like right the fuck now to buy it just to gift it to Null

 

[Panama]

I hope he cant leave until they are satisfied in their case. LOL imagine the cops in Portugal detain him??

Funniest scenario? It was the cops that beat him up. He was waddling around and tried to proposition a twelve year old.
You have a higher chance of getting blown away in the US by police, but in the rest of the world the cops have a lot less restraint in putting the boot to somebody.

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

Did a boat prop rob you Ralph?

 

[sur.real]

warski wins again

 

[Disheveled Human]

So I think Ralph has about $30,000 worth of medical coverage unless he splurged on a better plan (doubt), he better hope this hospital stay and surgery is under that.

Even with coverage Ralph will have to pay some out of pocket costs for consultations, emergency treatment and overnight stays. Considering how intense his stay is gonna be I would imagine there are other hidden costs he will have to pay out of pocket for.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

How badly is the unlicensed Portuguese plastic surgeon going to botch Ralph's already ugly face?

 

[veri]

sorry if someone said this already but it just occurred to me that ralph will probably lose some weight if the recovery time is really that long. especially without some teeth and the actual pain of eating he won’t eat as much plus the painkillers make you not hungry